WASHINGTON — The White House expressed outrage Tuesday upon discovering that its aggressive 2018 tariffs on Chinese imports did not bring manufacturing back to the United States, but instead birthed a lucrative global industry dedicated to putting new stickers on Chinese boxes.

According to a newly released administration report titled "The Great Transshipment Scam," over 40 nations are currently utilizing "limited assembly, finishing, repackaging, relabeling or documentation changes" to help exporters dodge trade barriers. Officials estimate the U.S. Treasury loses up to $26 billion annually to this vast network of international middlemen who have discovered the immense profitability of changing a shipping manifest.

"We intended these Section 301 tariffs to fundamentally alter global supply chains," said a senior trade adviser. "Instead, we inadvertently created what our report calls a 'global Shadow Transshipment Network,' where dozens of nations collect processing fees just to cross out the original country of origin and write their own name before sending the exact same goods to our ports."

The adviser confirmed the report's findings would be used to justify aggressive future tariffs, ensuring the international paperwork-alteration sector remains a vital engine of global economic growth for years to come.