Rectification Archive
Records of all conditions improvements, maintained in perpetuity.
2026
September 2026
(7 rectifications)
September 6, 2026
September 5, 2026
September 4, 2026
September 3, 2026
September 2, 2026
August 2026
(27 rectifications)
August 31, 2026
August 30, 2026
August 29, 2026
August 28, 2026
August 27, 2026
August 23, 2026
August 22, 2026
August 21, 2026
August 19, 2026
August 17, 2026
August 14, 2026
August 13, 2026
August 12, 2026
August 11, 2026
August 10, 2026
August 9, 2026
August 8, 2026
August 7, 2026
August 6, 2026
August 5, 2026
August 4, 2026
July 2026
(23 rectifications)
July 29, 2026
July 28, 2026
July 25, 2026
July 24, 2026
July 23, 2026
July 22, 2026
- Government Promising Broad Consensus On Constitution Bill Currently Shopping For 33 More Opposition MPs
- Highest Court Tasked With Upholding Justice Asks Beaten Students Not To Waste Its Time
- News Channels That Ignored Hunger Strike For Six Weeks Shocked By Hostile Reception
- President Who Demanded Greenland Praises the 'Love' of Allies Who Kept Greenland
July 21, 2026
July 20, 2026
July 18, 2026
June 2026
(61 rectifications)
June 22, 2026
- Actor Who Quit Films 'To Serve People' Finds Service Includes a State Budget
- Airport Named Among World's Most Beautiful Demonstrates Range by Leaking During Light Rain
- Felling 9 Lakh Trees Classified as Economy, Visiting the Forest Classified as Extravagance
- Nation That Cannot Keep Its Own Government Open Offers To Run World's Busiest Strait
- Nation Unable To Secure One Exam Paper Removes Telegram From 150 Million Phones
- President Defends Iran Deal By Establishing That Critics Are Stupid
- States That Met Population Targets Spared, for Now, the Reward of Fewer Seats
- Students Give the Same Exam Twice So the Board Could Have a Second Chance Too
June 9, 2026
- Government Claims 'Defence' for Seizing Green Space, High Court Asks if It Means '20-Storey Buildings'
- Government That Created 67,037 Jobs Since 2022 Declares Remaining 355 As 'Merit-Based'
- Party Missing 10 Votes for Rajya Sabha Seat Promises 'Secure Location' for MLAs
- President "Very Close To Final Deal" With Nations Currently Bombing Each Other
- Probe into Former CM's Daughter for Rs 2.78 Crore Payment Intensifies Immediately Following High Court Order
- Supreme Court Orders Son to Vacate Property, Reminds Nation of Law Passed in 2007
June 8, 2026
- 23-Party Opposition Alliance Meets to Project Unity While Key Members Boycott Over 'Betrayal'
- Chief Minister Clarifies 90 MLAs Defying Central Leadership Were Actually Just Mutinying Against Rival
- Faction Fighting 10-Year Court Battle for Spiritual Supremacy Pivots to Beating Up Judge's Family
- Judiciary Promises 'Swadeshi AI' Will Revolutionize How 5 Crore Pending Cases Are Ignored
- Politician Who Sacrificed 2023 Seat For Father Bravely Accepts Burden of Urban Development Portfolio
- Prime Minister Carefully Considers U.S. President's 'Strongest Possible Language' Before Bombing Capital Anyway
June 7, 2026
- Ally That Ignored 2022 Invasion Allocates $50 Million to Bus 100,000 Voters to Election
- Commission Praises 'Foolproof' Exam That Filled 151 of 613 Vacancies Before Water-Cannoning Protesters
- Court Takes 5.5 Years to Confirm Fatal 'Celebratory Firing' Violates Lawmaker's Arms License
- Grassroots Leader Quits Party That Demanded MLAs Applaud Chief's Nephew For Losing Assembly Election
- Minister 'Humiliated' by Water Portfolio Finds Strength to Continue After Receiving Additional Portfolio
- Officials Vow "New Heights" for Bilateral Ties Just Like They Did Before 2015 Blockade
June 6, 2026
- Alliance With Exactly 56 Votes Needed for Two Seats Demands Three, Prepares to Lose
- Brothers Controlling ₹1 Lakh Crore Explain How Vast Industrial Empire Is Entirely Self-Acquired
- High Court Relieves Financial Agency of Tedious Burden of Registering Crimes Before Investigating Opponents
- Minister Resigns After Discovering Chief Minister’s Promises Are Void Without High Command Approval
- President Whose War Left 70% of Farmers Unable to Afford Fertilizer Promises to Help
- State's Commitment to 'Obsolete' Forensic Technology Secures Bail for Accused Murderer
June 5, 2026
- 'Mutually Beneficial' Trade Deal Requires Government to Eliminate All Tariffs, Spend $500 Billion
- Party Champions Local State Interests by Giving Rajya Sabha Seats to National TV Spokespersons
- Supreme Court Banning AI From 'Fake' Judgments After Lawyers Kept Using Them
- University Erases Name of 1915 Provisional Government Leader Citing 'Lack of Significant Contribution'
- US Hails 'Diplomatic Breakthrough' As Ceasefire Survives 41 Rocket Operations and Continued Airstrikes
June 4, 2026
- Citing 2023 Precedent, Assembly Speaker Awards 'Real Party' Status to Faction Keeping Him Employed
- EU Upholds European Values By Outsourcing Human Rights Abuses to Tunisia and Egypt
- Officials Arrive In India To Announce 'Significant Progress' On Trade Deal Due Diwali 2022
- Ruling Party Trades State's Lone Vacant Upper House Seat for 2026 Electoral Loyalty
June 3, 2026
- Court Takes Up 1989 Case After 34 Years of Delay Finally Generates Viral Content
- Election Commission Formally Opens Bidding on Four Karnataka Rajya Sabha Seats
- Government That Released New Map in 2020 Accidentally Confesses to Encroaching on Neighbor's Territory
- Ministry Reminds EU That Issue Raised by US, China, and OIC Remains Strictly Internal
- Pentagon Hires Man Convicted of Attacking U.S. Capitol as Sensitive Counterterrorism Analyst
- Rs 1,413 Crore Troubleshooter Prepared to Champion Needs of State's Rs 1.5 Lakh Farmers
June 2, 2026
- Archives Confirm Politicians Who Praised Leader's 'Historic Strength' Privately Called Him "Beleaguered And Bereft"
- Chief Minister With Thin Majority Uses First Official Speech to Launch Next Election Campaign
- Firm Fights Probe Into Rs 1.72 Crore Paid to Chief Minister's Daughter for Nothing
- Investigators Swiftly Arrest Executive Just Five Years After Rs 46,000 Crore Bankruptcy
- Party Pledging 'Stable Government' Spends Week in Delhi Arguing Over 2.5-Year Power-Sharing Agreement
- Rajasthan High Court Exhausted By Convicted Godman Who Has Been Tragically Dying Since 2021
June 1, 2026
- Airports Posting Rs 1,480 Crore Profits Warned That Unspecified Penalties Could Begin Soon
- Board Defends Security of Cost-Saving Exam Portal Hacked by 19-Year-Old in Under an Hour
- Board That Lost 1.6 Crore Student Records Relieved 19-Year-Old Found Latest Portal Flaw
- High Court Rules Due Process Optional for Employees Deemed 'Security Risk'
- Male Politicians Celebrate Passing 33% Women's Quota With Clause Delaying Implementation Until After 2029
- Party That Promised Governance Takes Cabinet Negotiations to Delhi for 'Mediation'
- Prime Minister Confident Seizing Castle Will Deliver 'Decisive Shift' Missing Since 1982
- State Issues 15-Day Ultimatum To Former Chief Minister Resisting Bungalow Eviction Since 2018
May 2026
(171 rectifications)
May 30, 2026
- Agency That Issued 2019 Warning on Spa Injections Finally Decides to Audit a Spa
- Astrologer Gives Deputy Chief Minister Three Dates When Planets Will Overrule Party Leadership
- Court Upholds 2012 Rule Capping TV Ads at 12 Minutes During 25-Minute Commercial Break
- Government Shocked That Sky May Falter on Obligation to Provide 60% of Nation’s Irrigation
- State Government Hopes Latest Darjeeling Anti-Corruption Drive Will Locate 2017's Missing Rs 100 Crore
- State With 33% Black Population Passes Map Giving Republicans 5 of 6 Congressional Seats
May 29, 2026
- Court Rules 1.5 Lakh Annual Highway Casualties Have Fundamental Right to Non-Existent Trauma Care
- MP Predicts Imminent Demise of Party That Survived Identical Demises in 2021 and 2023
- Prosecutors Spend Decades Defending Right to Ignore 1986 Supreme Court Ban on Racist Juries
- State Minister Booked for Abusing Cops Confident Case Will Yield Zero Action Like 2022
May 28, 2026
- Court Clarifies to State That Law It Ignored in 2018 Remains in Effect Today
- Education Board Defends 1968 Language Policy That Currently Lacks Only Teachers, Books, and Funding
- Enforcement Directorate Frustrated High Court Now Requires Actual Crime Before Investigating 'Proceeds of Crime'
- Former Judge Shocked to Learn Hiding Evidence in 12-Year-Old's Death Voids Standard Bail Privileges
- State Confident Supreme Court Will Agree 39.9 Percent Is 'Quite Close' to a Majority
May 27, 2026
- Commission Ensures 'Purity' of Upcoming Election by Deleting 3.66 Lakh Voters From Rolls
- Deputy CM Defends 15-Year Political Struggle After Neighbor Wins Chief Ministership In Two Years
- Ministry's 'Wetland Conservation' Rules Successfully Strip Protection From 44 Ecologically Sensitive Sites
- Party Denies Leadership Change, Clarifies Chief Minister Is Merely Being Relocated to Parliament
- Party Seeking 14 House Seats Annoyed They Cannot Simply Delete State's Only Opposition District
- State Files 12,000-Page Murder Chargesheet to Overrule Foreign Police's Finding of No Foul Play
- State Sends PM 2026 Edition of 2019 Letter Opposing 2018 Dam Project
May 26, 2026
- Agency Assures Court That 2026 Exam Leak Is Completely Distinct From 2024 Exam Leak
- Chief Minister Defends Absolute Autonomy By Hailing Party Boss As His 'Captain'
- Court Earning Rs 33.6 Lakh Annually Advises Unemployed 'Cockroach' Satirists Not To Get Sentimental
- Government Assures Court That 'Cockroach Janta Party' Posed Grave Threat To National Security
- Prime Minister Deploys Devastating 'Abominable' Adjective Against Nation Facing Zero Actual Consequences
- State Celebrates Overturning of 2003 Worship Rules By Awarding Lucrative Corridor Construction Contracts
May 25, 2026
- Citizen Loses ₹24 Crore to Scam Despite Repeated Warnings From Agencies Impersonated in Scam
- Former President Promises 100% Loyalty to Country He Previously Threatened With 'Very Big Tariffs'
- Government Deploys Riot Police to Install Opposition Leader Who Lost 2023 Election
- Minister Brings Relief by Promising to Temporarily Solve Same 20,000-Seat Shortage as Last Year
- "Not For Profit," Says Chairman Developing Rs 23,000 Crore Prime Mumbai Real Estate Project
- Official Who Ordered 285-Booth Repoll to Fix "Subversion" Immediately Orders Repoll of the Repoll
May 24, 2026
- Committees Voluntarily Agree to Comply With Existing Law, Avoid Previous Unrest
- DOJ Appeals Ruling That Arresting Man Just For Winning Supreme Court Case Is 'Vindictive'
- Judiciary Celebrates Historic Milestone Of Having Four Women Lead Its 25 High Courts
- Minister Tells Forest Officials to 'Understand Law' After Demolitions Follow Party Protests
- State That Saw 26,000 Jobs Cancelled Announces Radical New Policy of Grading the Exams
- State Upgrades 20 Missing Citizens to 'Federally Unaccounted For' After Hostage Swap Stalls
May 22, 2026
- $170 Billion IT Giant Reminded That 2013 Harassment Law Applies to Its 127 Offices
- Centre Unlocks Healthcare Scheme For Citizens Who Finally Voted For The Correct Party
- Chief Minister's Commitment to Social Justice Requires Exact Constitutional Limit of 35 Ministers
- DOJ Forced to Return Deported Man Immediately Indicts Him for 2022 Traffic Stop
- Ministers Instructed to Focus on 2047 Vision to Give 2014 Promises Time to Arrive
- Opposition Prints Posters Denouncing Chief Minister's 'Political Optics' After Cloudburst Claims 60 Lives
- State Launches High-Tech 'Talent Economy' By Giving 75% Tax Break To Cement Corporations
May 21, 2026
- After Brutal May Defeats, Party Leader Enthusiastically Campaigns for Man Preparing to Oust Him
- Chief Minister Declares Election a 'Festival' After Sole Opposition Candidate Withdraws
- Court Again Denies Bail To Accused Who Complied With Bail Three Times Before
- Court Clears 5.7 Lakh Trees for Coal Mine Because Environmentalists Filed Paperwork Late
- Government Demands 'Next-Generation Reforms' to Fix Previous Two Generations of Its Own Reforms
- Testing Agency Clarifies Exam Leaked By Own Panel Member Did Not Breach Agency System
May 20, 2026
- Admiral Claims 90% of Enemy Base Destroyed, Calls Questions About Surviving 70% 'Inappropriate'
- CBI Asks How Official Earning Rs 20 Lakh Annually Amassed Rs 1.92 Crore
- Leader of Nation Ranked 111th in Global Hunger Index Receives Top UN Food Award
- Party's Historic 59-Year Return to Government Delayed 11 Days Over Second Cabinet Chair
- State Scraps Predecessor's ₹64,000 Crore Rail Project to Announce Identical Project Under New Acronym
- State That Photographed 3.45 Lakh Fishermen in 2017 Proposes New Vessel Tracking Mandate
- Supreme Court Reaffirms "Bail Is The Rule," Assures State It Remains Purely Theoretical Under UAPA
- Top Judge Surprised 'Cockroach' Comment Offended the 29.1% of Graduates Without Jobs
May 19, 2026
- Finance Ministry Confirms Current Economic Storm Was Caused By Administration Dissolved In 2014
- Government Clarifies Global Oil Shocks Naturally Pause During Indian Election Campaigns
- Judge Who Protected 'Discredited' Agency Now Investigating Opposition Leaders for Hurtful Social Media Posts
- Leaders Hold Fifth Meeting in Two Years to Rebrand Existing Ocean as 'Indo-Mediterranean Corridor'
- Ministry Cites Press Freedom to Explain Why Leader of 157th-Ranked Nation Cannot Answer Questions
- Police Accused of Acting as 'Agent Provocateurs' Launch 25-Member Cell to Find the Provocateurs
- States Erasing Black Voting Districts Hope Athletes Continue Generating Hundreds of Millions in Revenue
May 18, 2026
- Billionaire Settles $265 Million Bribery Case for $18 Million After Hiring President's Personal Lawyer
- Home Ministry Adds 'Etc.' Clause After Discovering Undocumented Migrants Lack Foreign Documents
- Judge Found With Burnt Cash Successfully Defends Himself By Resigning Two Days Before Hearing
- Police Notice Fugitive With 15 Criminal Charges After Central Agency Raids Deputy Commissioner
- Supreme Court Reaffirms 'Bail Is The Rule' While Denying Bail After Fifth Year of Detention
- Tech Executive Devastated Former Non-Profit Monetized 'Benefit of Humanity' Into $150 Billion Without Him
May 17, 2026
- Administration Marks 250 Years of Church-State Separation By Rededicating Nation to Single Religion
- Board Assures 23 Lakh Students That 2026 Exam Leak Will Follow Established 2024 Protocols
- Governor Retains 1972 Treaty Table Exclusively As Prop To Criticize Previous Administration
- Ministry Confirms Dutch PM Contracted Same 'Lack of Understanding' as 2023 US State Department
- State Discovers Four Most Qualified Ministers Coincidentally Reside in New Chief Minister’s Home District
May 16, 2026
- 30 Lawmakers Discover 53-Year-Old Core Ideology Expires Exactly Eight Days After Losing Power
- Government Agrees to Ban Liquor to Protect Spiritual Heritage, Pending Full Reimbursement From Centre
- Government Clarifies "Null and Void" International Court Rulings Still Require Monthly Rejections
- Official Defeated in 2010 and 2015 Leadership Elections Offers to 'Save' Party Again
May 15, 2026
- Center Learns of 111 U.P. Storm Deaths After Receiving Condolences From Vladimir Putin
- Centre Expands Water Board to Ensure State Providing 60% of Resources Can Be Outvoted
- European Navy Offers to Protect India's Undersea Cables in Exchange for Lucrative Defense Contracts
- Government Clarifies Vacations Won't Be Taxed, Just Shamed While $2.2 Billion Flows Into Foreign Assets
- Party That Blocked Rival in February Graciously Extends Invite Following Disastrous Local Elections
- 'Zero Error' Exam Agency Discovers Its Own Panelist Dictating Questions to Coaching Classes
May 14, 2026
- Family Whose Four Kids Cracked NEET Credits Genetics, Hard Work, and Rs 30 Lakh
- Government Reverses 2022 Hijab Ban, Restoring Constitutional Rights Until Next Election Cycle
- Nation Needing 5.5 Million Barrels Daily Secures 1.5 Million, Declares Energy Security Achieved
- Police Trace Rs 1 Crore Plot Behind Workers' Bizarre Demand for Higher Minimum Wage
- President Leading Unpopular War Offers to Pause $11 Billion Arms Sale for Quick Trade Truce
- School Assembly Extended to Six Minutes to Accommodate Third Mandatory Anthem in Six Months
May 13, 2026
- Administration Explains How Curing Drug Addicts in Jammu Requires Demolishing Houses in Kashmir
- Government Confident 500 Unused Ethanol Pumps Will Seamlessly Service Nation's Zero Flex-Fuel Cars
- Police Arrest Influencer for Defaming Family Suing Each Other Over Rs 30,000 Crore Estate
- President Who Needs 'No Help' Asks Iran's Biggest Trading Partner for Midterm Election Rescue
- State Responds to 33 Storm Deaths by Swiftly Issuing May 2024's 'Immediate 24-Hour Relief' Directives
- State Validates Rs 50,000 Crore Industry Potential With Sole Rs 2.35 Crore Export
May 12, 2026
- $8.2 Billion Arms Exporter Asked to 'Reflect' on Decision to Provide Customer Support
- CBI to Investigate National Exam Leak After 'Full Security Protocol' Fails Again
- Chief Minister Promises 'Prosperous Assam' While Handing State Resources to Four Loyal MLAs
- Government Trims VIP Convoys By Half, Urges Bus Commuters To Stop Buying Gold
- Leader Who Lost 1,500 Councillors and 4 Ministers Promises to 'Get On With Governing'
- Official With 32,900 Followers Silenced for Questioning Mandatory Language
May 11, 2026
- Agency Investigating 150-Job Scam Makes Arrest Immediately After Suspect's Party Loses State Election
- Diplomat Deeply Moved By Partner Nation's Shared Value Of Having Millions Of Skilled Workers
- Global IT Giant With Immense Resources Successfully Achieves 'Zero Compliance' With Workplace Safety Law
- Government Unveils 9-Point Economic Strategy Consisting Entirely Of Things Citizens Must Stop Doing
- Leaders Who Shook Hands on 2025 Trade Truce Meet to Announce Next Tariffs
- 'Oasis of Energy Security' Suggests Online Classes to Conserve Completely Plentiful Fuel Supply
- PM Demands Strict Domestic Oil Austerity Before Boarding Flight For Five-Nation Tour
- Tamil Nadu's Fourth Actor-CM Pledges 'Real Social Justice,' Different From Previous Three
May 10, 2026
- Heritage Agency Assures Public That 31 Missing Monuments Are Still Under Strict Bureaucratic Control
- Ministry Confident Fourth Attempt at 2009 Database Plan Will Break 3.28% Registration Barrier
- Party With 5 Seats Demands 'Shared Responsibility' From Inside Locked Hyderabad Resort
- President Who Tore Up 2015 Agreement Furious Iran Won't Agree to 9-Point Plan
- Transport 'Digital Reform' Successfully Reduces Daily Beneficiaries From 7 Lakh to 8,000
May 9, 2026
- Administration Combats High Drug Addiction in Jammu by Bulldozing 18 Houses in Kashmir
- Congress Celebrates Senator's Birthday By Reducing His Father's 27-Year Coup Sentence by 90%
- Official Claims ‘Planned Agenda’ Targeting Community With Evidence Found in 1993, 2008, 2020 Acquittals
- Party Ends 15-Year Rule Promising Women's Empowerment, Immediately Appoints Male Chief Minister
- Police Secure Ruling Party Headquarters, Test Air Raid Sirens to Keep Public Calm
- Public Banks Missing Rs 27,337 Crore Reassured by Rigorous Search of 17 Office Locations
May 8, 2026
- Airline Seeking ₹10,000 Crore Confident Firing 1,680 Employees Will Fix ₹22,000 Crore Loss
- Ceasefire Remains Intact Because Sinking Six Enemy Boats Qualifies as 'Not Heavy Firing'
- Ministry Cites 65 Wildlife Deaths to Request Central Funds for Same Unbuilt 544km Fence
- Parties With 106 Combined Seats Unite to Save Democracy From Party With 108
- Scheme Ensuring 'No Mother Missed' Will Seamlessly Track The 38% With Rural Digital Literacy
- State Clarifies Fake Number Plate Loophole Was Meant for Local Autos, Not Professional Assassins
May 7, 2026
- Appeals Court Grants 8-Year Discount For Aiding 'Self-Coup' Despite Complete Lack Of Remorse
- Department That Spent Rs 120 Crore on Rabies Vaccines Refuses to Vaccinate Actual Dogs
- Government Assures Court Single 2,000-Passenger Casino Won't Crowd River Holding 1,987 Total Passengers
- Party Falling 10 Seats Short Begins Negotiating With System It Promised To Destroy
- State Leaves 52 Commissions Vacant for 2 Years as 10,000 Workers Negotiate Cabinet Perks
May 6, 2026
- Commander of $886 Billion Military Tells Man With No Army He Misunderstands 'Real World'
- Delhi Airport Tracking 500 Delayed Flights Proudly Confirms It Is 'Operating As Normal'
- Nation With 4.1 Million Migrants Highlights Digital Platform, 'Menace' Persists
- Official Confirms Loud Explosion Near Military Zone Was Just Spontaneously Combusting Scooter
- Officials Confirm Terror Has Been Decisively Crippled For Third Time In Nine Years
- Opposition Leader Discovers Exactly One in Six Ruling Party MPs Stole Their Election Victory
May 5, 2026
- Citizens Shielded From Rs 993 Gas Hike Until They Order Food From A Restaurant
- Leader Who Vowed Minorities 'Cannot Live In Peace' Credits Hat-Trick Win to Inclusive Development
- Opposition Bloc Devastated by Ally's Collapse to 90 Seats That Conveniently Solves Leadership Dispute
- President's 'Humanitarian Gesture' for 2,000 Stranded Ships Consists Mostly of Airstrikes on Fast Boats
- Ruling Party Baffled as Actor With Zero Governance Experience Wins 108 Seats on Debut
- State Begins Mandatory Post-Election Arson Ritual Following Party's 206-Seat Democratic Victory
May 4, 2026
- Media Declares 'High-Stakes Battle' For Chief Minister Who Won Last Election By 70,384 Votes
- Nation With 5,412 Retracted Papers Asks Scientists to Kindly Disclose When They Fabricate Data
- Party Praises 'Unwavering Unity' of 102-Seat Coalition After Discarding 2021 Ally For Better Deal
- President Rejects 14-Point Peace Plan, Citing Unacceptable Risk to $120-a-Barrel Oil Prices
May 3, 2026
- Election Commission Impressed By 58% Turnout Achieved While Opposition's Button Was Taped Shut
- Government Upgrades From 134 Billion Ignored SMS Alerts to One Nationwide Panic Attack
- Ministry Shields Consumers From $126 Crude by Quietly Hiking Commercial LPG by Rs 993
- Officials Say Opening Bridge Once Since 2019 to Return Bodies Proves Permanent Protocol Unnecessary
- President Punishes Ally for Criticism By Moving 5,000 Troops, Cites 'Strategic Review'
- Rs 1.3 Lakh 'Ultra' Phone Released for Market Where Average Consumer Spends Rs 15,000
- Sociology Department Adds Prime Minister to Syllabus, Confirms It Helps Secure NITI Aayog Jobs
May 2, 2026
- Administration Prepares to Not Withdraw 5,000 Troops From Germany for Second Time Since 2020
- Court Rules Public Land Not for Exclusive Religious Use, Unless State Decides Otherwise
- Government Proudly Recovers Rs 19,187 Crore From Fugitives Who Owe Rs 58,082 Crore
- Officials Begin 2026 Recount of 279 Ballots to Decide Who Won 2023 Election
- Officials Confirm 'Free and Fair' Election Proceeding Smoothly Into Routine 15-Booth Repolling Phase
May 1, 2026
- Commission Clarifies Opening Ballot Boxes In Corridors Is Merely Routine 'Segregation' Announced Via Email
- Development Authority Heroically Unearths ₹100 Crore Land Fraud Orchestrated by Development Authority
- Government Confident Third Curfew in 18 Months Will Finally Fix 29x Youth Detention Disparity
- Government Saves Households Rs 380 on Gas by Adding Rs 993 to Commercial Cylinders
- Prime Minister Makes Three-Hour War Zone Stop to Check on $3 Billion Gas Deal
- US Issues Priority Watch List for Nations Refusing to Fix $41.18 Billion Trade Deficit
April 2026
(182 rectifications)
April 30, 2026
- Anti-Terror Squad That Raided 21 Locations Baffled by Man With Unsupervised Internet Access
- Board Unveils Official bse.ap.gov.in Results Portal, Begs Students To Use WhatsApp Instead
- Government Reminds Migrants Contributing Billions That Fleeing Gang Violence Was Only a Temporary Arrangement
- State Greets 11 Deportees Who Paid Rs 1 Crore to Flee Its Job Market
April 29, 2026
- DOJ Announces Second Attempt to Jail President's Rival After Firing Uncooperative Attorney General
- Election Commission's AI Surveillance Flawlessly Records State's Traditional Crude Bomb Attacks in High Definition
- India's 'Light Touch' AI Regulation Now Prepares for AI That Even Its Creators Don't Understand
- Intelligence Agencies Mobilized After $1 Cryptocurrency Purchase Paralyzes 40 Schools and High Courts
- Party Leader Puts On Sneakers, Assumes 8 Million First-Time Voters Are Entirely Superficial
- Prime Minister Pledges to Rescue "Crying" Citizens From Party They Just Gave 29 Seats
April 28, 2026
- Brand Unveils 'Accessible' ₹5.5 Lakh Entry-Level Bike To Compete With ₹3.67 Lakh Rivals
- Government Links 33% Women’s Quota to Map Redrawing That Conveniently Benefits Its Northern Base
- Minister Behind 'Trump Tower' Demands Eradication of Foreign Names From 98-Year-Old Hospital
- Network Cuts 27 Minutes From President's Interview Following $16 Million 'Deceptive Editing' Settlement
- Oil Companies Demand Rs 1 Crore Upfront, Blame Ensuing Fuel Crisis on 'Panic Buying'
- Opera House Bleeding €140,000 Defends Giving Toscanini’s Former Post to Ruling Party Ally
- President Declares Nation Dictating $110-A-Barrel Oil Prices Is In State Of Total Collapse
- State Defends Invoking 'Public Safety Act' Against Legislator Who Criticized Deputy Commissioner
April 27, 2026
- Court Forced to Clarify Husband's Sister Is Not His Second Wife After 28-Year Marriage
- Government Combats Lightning Deaths By Increasing Posthumous Compensation From ₹4 Lakh to ₹5 Lakh
- Government Demolishes Madrasa Months After Investigating Beneficiary Who Drew Salary For 4 Years As UK Citizen
- Military Baffled As 'Unknown Gunmen' Tragically Assassinate 30th High-Profile Terrorist Commander
- Police Officer With Rs 7.5 Crore Cash Still Bothering To Extort Rs 5 Lakh
- Prime Minister Orders 'Vigorous Attacks' to Protect Integrity of Ongoing Ceasefire Efforts
April 26, 2026
- Anti-Defection Law Clarifies Buying One MP Is Illegal, But Acquiring 7 Out Of 10 Is A Completely Legal Merger
- Bank Excludes Rs 590 Crore Fraud From Balance Sheet To Announce 145% Profit Growth
- Nation Boasting 7.4% Growth Puzzled as Foreigners Pull $12.7 Billion in Single Month to Buy AI Stocks Elsewhere
- Official With Rs 7.36 Crore Cash and 26 Luxury Watches Commended for Highly Organized Middleman Infrastructure
- Officials Praise 'New Sovereignty Model' As Rebel Alliance Launches Coordinated Attacks Across 1,500 Kilometers
- Testing Agency Discovers Lucrative Revenue Stream in Charging Students Rs 200 to Correct Its Errors
April 21, 2026
- 115-Page Order Rejects Former CM's 12 Bias Grounds After Prior Reliefs Granted
- Country That Blockaded 27 Vessels Says Peace Talks Dependent On Other Side Negotiating In 'Good Faith'
- Election Commission Chief Promises 'Violence-Free' West Bengal Polls For The Fifth Consecutive Election
- IMD Issues Annual 'It's Going to Be Hotter This Year' Forecast, Citizens Respond with Annual 'Oh, Really?'
- MLA Whose Son Rammed Five People Dares Police: 'Does This District Belong To Your Daddy?'
- Nation's Top Security Advisor Visits Region for Fourth Time This Year to Discuss 'Peace' That Keeps Oil Flowing
- 'No Voter Left Behind' Commission Deletes 27 Lakh Over 'Impossible' Family Age Gaps
- Special Court Commends Police for Admitting to False Testimony, Calls it 'Progress Towards Transparency'
April 20, 2026
April 19, 2026
- Elected Official Donates 15 Minutes of Nodding to Neighborhood That Just Built Its Own Civic Infrastructure
- Government Replaces Delayed Infrastructure Funds With Record Allocation of 'Self-Respect'
- Historic Ceasefire Holds as Rival Navies Peacefully Maintain Competing Blockades Around 600 Trapped Commercial Ships
- Officials Unveil State-of-the-Art Command Center to Watch Rural Taps Run Dry in Real Time
- State Apparatus Mobilized as Deputy Chief Minister Battles Cough Acquired at Own Movie Promotion
April 18, 2026
April 17, 2026
- Accused No. 39 Denies Family Involvement in Liquor Scam That Put Accused No. 38 in Jail
- Government With 611 Sailors Trapped in War Zone Confident 'Strongly Urging' Armed Militias Will Clear Waterway
- President Who Posted AI Image of Himself as Jesus Formally Clarifies Catholic Doctrine for Pope
- State With 13 Lakh Acres of Encroached Land Celebrates Securing 5-Acre Plot With Tin Signboard
April 16, 2026
- Centre Confirms States That Successfully Implemented Family Planning Will Now Be Punished With Political Irrelevance
- Government Automates $166 Billion Tariff Refund to Corporations Who Already Passed Cost to Consumers
- Historic Women's Empowerment Bill Adds 307 Parliament Seats So Absolutely Zero Men Have to Give Up Theirs
- Maritime Insurers Secure 1,500% Premium Increase After Official Points Menacingly at 33-Kilometer Puddle
- Party Confirms Basic Human Rights Like Jobs And Safety Require 'Double Engine' Subscription
- Traffic Department Defeats Commuter Death Toll by Handing Out 50 Helmets and Asking 8-Year-Olds to Be Careful
- U.S. Confirms Its Jurisdiction Includes Australian Citizens Doing Things In South Africa In 2012
April 15, 2026
- Government Confirms Rs 2 Lakh Industrial Death Rate Remains Unchanged, Applicable Immediately Upon Condolence Tweet
- Opposition Leader Who Did Nothing About Mullaperiyar for Five Years Asks Farmers Why They Would Re-Elect Party That Did Nothing About Mullaperiyar for Five Years
- States That Controlled Their Population to Be Rewarded With 39 Fewer Lok Sabha Seats Than States That Did Not, Centre Confirms Process Is Fair
- Treasury Secretary Who Will Not Pay $100-a-Barrel Oil Prices Confirms Amount of Pain Worth Bearing Is Slightly More Than Whatever It Currently Is
- Two Countries That Never Ratified the Maritime Law Treaty Announce Competing Blockades of Waterway Governed by That Treaty
- Vice President, Whose Wife Is Daughter of Indian Immigrants, Confirms Immigrant Contribution Is Real and Good, Just Not for Any Future Immigrants
April 14, 2026
- City Whose Metro Land Acquisition Was Declared Complete in 2013 Begins Acquiring Land for Metro
- FIR Filed Against Brigadier's Attackers 45 Hours After Assault Witnessed by Policemen Who Were Also Present
- Government Implements Historic Women's Reservation by Adding Seats for Women Without Removing Any Seats from Men, Sources Confirm
- Lebanon Offers to Negotiate Disarmament of Group It Has Tried and Failed to Disarm Three Times in 16 Months
- Man in White Robes Emitting Divine Light While Healing the Sick Insists Image Has Nothing to Do With Jesus
- State Police That Reports to TMC Government Fails to Act on TMC Disruption of Opposition Campaign for Third Consecutive Election; Commission Seeks Report
- TVK Candidate Pays Rs 50,000 Per Day for Holographic Leader Who Costs Less to Operate Than the Mannequin Did in Dignity
- West Celebrates Hungary's Democracy Restoration, Led by Man Who Spent Two Decades Inside the System He Just Replaced
April 13, 2026
- Administration That Holds Pentagon Prayer Services in Name of Jesus Christ Concerned Pope Is Mixing Religion and Politics
- AIADMK Leader Flanked by Three Different Ideologies Explains That Ideology Is Permanent
- Committee Formed to Publicly Display Exactly How Little LPG Is Left in Karnataka
- Ministry That Failed to Teach 50% of Class 5 to Read Launches AI Syllabus Requiring Students to Read
- Nation Spends 53% of Higher Education Budget to Ensure 3% of Students Can Afford Regular Coffee in Toronto
- Nation That Spent 16 Years Building Unbreakable Authoritarian Machine Surprised to Find Someone Else Now Holds the Keys
- Pentagon Confirms Latest Successful Strike on Boat That Most Likely Would Have Had Drugs in it Eventually
- Trump Confirms 'Numerous Countries' Have Joined Hormuz Coalition; All Countries Confirm They Have Not
April 10, 2026
- Election Commission Successfully Streamlines Democracy by Deleting 91 Lakh Voters Too Distracting for Final Tally
- Nation Currently Without Electricity Confirms Political System Powered by 1959 Ideology Not Up for Negotiation
- Police Task Force Formed to Find Person Who Filmed Delivery Agent Having Public Mental Breakdown Instead of Investigating Mental Breakdown
- President Complains Nation He 'Decimated' for Five Weeks Is Doing 'Very Poor Job' of Running Its Own Infrastructure
April 9, 2026
- 14-Day Ceasefire Successfully Moves War from 'Active Combat' to 'Semantics' as Rockets Fall in Non-Participating Zones
- Karnataka Voters Head to Polls to Formally Notarize Transfer of Assembly Seats to Deceased MLAs’ Children
- President Who Launched Unannounced War Shocked to Find Allies Didn't Pre-Position Frigates in His Imagination
- Rs 1,250-per-Month Democracy Enters Final Bidding Phase as 2.5 Crore Voters Invited to Choose Their Preferred Cash-Transfer Brand
- U.S. Clarifies Ceasefire Only Applies to Countries Not Currently Being Bombed into the Stone Age
April 8, 2026
- Anthropic Determines AI Model Too Dangerous for Public is Perfectly Safe for JPMorgan Chase
- Assam Government Solves 100% of District’s Problems by Deleting 50% of Its Legislative Seats
- Civilization-Ending Apocalypse Postponed for 14 Days to Allow for Filing of Relevant Paperwork
- Historic Uniform Civil Code Paused as State’s Bedroom-Monitoring Software Stuck at 4% Installation
- Ministry Suggests South Indian Drivers Simply Switch to More Expensive Petrol Until Diverted LPG Ships Find Their Way Out of Gujarat
- U.S. Officials Who Raised Tariffs to 18% Conclude 'Fruitful' Meeting to Discuss How Much More India Can Afford
- World Relieved to Learn Global Civilization Now Only 88 Minutes Away from Total Obliteration at Any Given Time
April 7, 2026
- Anti-Defacement Squad Successfully Reclaims 4 Square Inches of Public Wall Following Removal of 35,000 Posters
- Congress Veteran Proposes Radical Strategy of Noticing People Exist Between Election Cycles
- IIMs Successfully 'Recalibrate' 100% of Students into Same Three Consulting Firms as 2004
- President Promises Nation 8 P.M. Tuesday Will Be ‘Bridge Day’ and ‘Power Plant Day’ in Iran Following Successful Focus Group Testing
- Rs 1,273 Crore RTO Celebrates Becoming India’s 3rd Most Profitable Bureaucracy Despite Minor Setback of Being Raided for Massive Corruption
- UN Security Council Successfully Replaces 'Military Force' With 'Sternly Worded Defensive Gestures' in Blockade Resolution
April 6, 2026
- 7% Employment Rate Successfully Maintained for 30% of Population Despite 50 Years of Aggressive Election Campaigning
- Chief Minister Holding 100% of State Cabinet Portfolios Explains She Has 0% Power Over 3-Hour Siege of Judges
- Minister Threatens to Strike City 1,600km Away Using Only the Power of a Sialkot Press Club Microphone
- Minister Who Has 100% of His Food Cooked Offers 20% of Necessary Gas to People Who Make Living Cooking Food
- President Declares War ‘Very Complete, Pretty Much’ While Threatening to Bomb Every Remaining Bridge in Iran
- U.S. Proposes 45-Day Ceasefire to Iran After Successful 48-Hour Rejection Earlier This Week
April 5, 2026
- City Officials Shocked That Shopkeepers Prefer Having Shops Over Not Having Shops
- Dictionary Manufacturers Struggle to Keep Up as Bengal CM Exhausts 47th Synonym for ‘Dangerous’
- Germany Reassures Men Under 45 They Are Totally Free to Leave the Country After Asking Permission First
- Government Assures Supreme Court It Only Arrests Comedians Who Aren't Actually Funny
- Government Proudly Extends Free Electricity to Farmers Who Still Don’t Own Any Machines
- Government Successfully Files and Indexes Deep-Sea Creatures Before They Are Accidentally Disrupted by Blue Economy
- ICE Successfully Thwarts Global Terrorism by Detaining Two Women Related to Man Assassinated Five Years Ago
- Junior Partner Insists on Keeping Own Symbol So Voters Can Accurately Identify Who Has No Power
- NASA Spends $4 Billion to Ensure Billionaires Are Not Only People Taking Photos of Things They Can’t Touch
- Nehru Place Man Discovers Technology That Doesn't Require 45-Minute Firmware Update Before Printing
- President Assures Nation Iran Is 100% Defeated While Threatening to Bomb It for Another Three Weeks
- Rs 100 Crore Temple Master Plan Announced During Meeting to Ensure Temples Remain Non-Political
- Rs 30 Lakh Degree Holders Told to Practice 'Inner Stillness' Before Starting 100-Hour Work Weeks
- Small Party Leader Explains That Legally Ceasing to Exist Is a Small Price for Winning One Seat
- U.S. Offers Iran Choice Between 48-Hour Peace Deal or Slightly Louder 48-Hour Deadline
April 4, 2026
- Election Commission Searches for Candidate with Absolutely No Friends to Serve as Returning Officer
- Family That Has Only Won Baramati 8 Times In A Row Nervous About 9th Attempt
- Government Proposes Solving Rs 50,000 Crore Dental Crisis by Telling Children to Buy a Toothbrush
- Government Successfully Sends Very Angry Letters to Billionaires Mentioned in 2016 News Reports
- Government That Stole Your Buffalo Returns One Leg, Expects Thank You Note
- Military Leader Who Postponed Elections by Five Years Suggests Citizens Just 'Forget' Concept of Voting Entirely
- NASA Confirms Earth Still Round, Blue, and Completely Unaware of $42 Billion Camera Trip
- Orban Confident 15-Point Lead for Opposition Will Result in Narrow 2/3 Majority for Himself
- Pentagon Confirms Downed F-15 Was Merely Testing Integrity of Iran’s ‘Non-Existent’ Air Defenses
- Pentagon Optimistic Search for One Missing Pilot Only Costing Three Additional Aircraft So Far
- Premier High Court to Strengthen Accountability by Re-Inaugurating Transparency Tool It Turned Off in 2023
- Smart City Project Finally Achieves 100% Efficiency by Routing Rs 83 Crore Directly to Banker’s Driver
- University Celebrates 100 Years of Academic Excellence by Asking Students to Cook for Free
- UP CM Explains That Roads Are Primarily For Walking, Unless 66 Crore People Need to Stand on Them
April 3, 2026
- Board That Can’t Stop Paper Leaks Successfully Delivers 1987 Pop Hit to 1.6 Million Math Students
- Defense Secretary Authorizes 2,000 Troops to Carry Weapons in City Where Crime Is Already at 30-Year Low
- Election Commission Successfully Disposes of 52 Lakh Voters Who Were Using Up Valuable Space on List
- Former PM Who Banned Social Media Discovers Judicial Remand Also Works Offline
- Government Raises Milk Prices for Fourth Time to Ensure Farmers Can Afford to Feed Cows Raising Milk Prices
- Government Urges Citizens to View Lukewarm, Expensive Beer as Vital Contribution to Strategic Autonomy
- Man Whose Entire Career Is Built on Scripts Promises to Be Only Candidate Not Following One
- Ministry Solving LPG Shortage by Suggesting Autos Try Using More Expensive Fuel They Don't Have
- NASA Finally Grants Astronauts Permission to Leave Earth’s Driveway After 25-Hour Life Support Vibe Check
- Nation Spends $93 Billion to Send Four People to Place We Already Visited in 1972
- Pentagon Reassures Sleepless Iranians That Their Insomnia Is a Vital Component of Their Liberation
- President Describes 'Lovely Stay' in Iran, Promises to Finish Trip by Obliterating Everyone's Electricity
- President Trump Optimistic That Doubling Cost of Medicine Will Make It More Affordable
- Trump Fired Attorney General for Doing Tremendous Job He Is Increasingly Frustrated by
- UN Security Council to Vote on Whether Explosions in Strait of Hormuz Should Be Rebranded as ‘Defensive Navigation’
- Upper-Caste Book Club Confident 4th Annual Reading of 'Annihilation of Caste' Will Fix Everything by May
April 2, 2026
- Election Commission Successfully Protects Democracy by Banning Voters from Standing Near It
- Government Assures Thalambur Residents That New Global Sports City Will Feature World-Class Underwater Hockey Facilities
- Government Resolves 6-Year Smartphone Delay by Giving 2020 Handsets to Teachers Who Didn't Ask for Them
- Government Successfully Protects Sensitive Coal Plants from Feeling Bullied by Solar Energy
- Government Thrilled by 'Renewed Public Interest' in Piped Gas After Successfully Making LPG Impossible to Find
- India Reassured That Global Oil Crisis Will Continue Until Both Sides Finish Destroying Each Other’s Water
- Israel Expands 'Buffer Zone' to Include Any Land Currently Not Under Its Direct Administration
- Man Who Called Partner 'Political Cancer' For 20 Years Thrilled to Begin Lifelong Honeymoon Phase
- Nation Relieved as $2 Billion Rocket Successfully Replicates Technology Developed in 1968
- Nation’s Most Efficient Spirit-Breaking Exercise Begins as JEE Main Session 2 Goes Live
- President Assures Nation Iran War Is 100% Finished Besides the Fighting and the Dying
- President Confirms 48 Iranian Leaders 'Gone in One Shot,' Expects 49th to Be Very Cooperative
- Rupee Sprints Boldly Backward to 93.53 as RBI Rebrands Freefall as 'Controlled Descent'
- Tech Corridor Resident Celebrates 15th Year of 'Upcoming' Piped Water from Rs 2.5 Crore Balcony
- U.S. Determines Venezuelan Official No Longer 'Undermining Democracy' Following Successful Kidnapping of Her Boss
April 1, 2026
- Defense Minister Clarifies That 'Temporary' Security Zone Is Only Temporary Until It Becomes a Permanent Border
- Education Ministry Announces New Academic Session Will Consist of Three Tuesdays and a Thursday
- Elon Musk Successfully Achieves 100% Reduction in Misinformation During Three-Hour Outage
- Government Clarifies Liquor Only Becomes ‘Nuisance’ Once All Political Affiliates Have Finished Collecting Their Cut
- Government Proudly Maintains Domestic Gas Prices as Restaurants Successfully Transition back to the Stone Age
- Kingdom Proudly Intercepts 4,000th Iranian Drone Intended for Country 1,200 Kilometers Away
- Minister Assures Nation of 'Stable Gas Supply' for Anyone With an Extra Rs 214 and No Desire to Eat
- Ministry Rebrands Choking Smoke as 'Artisanal Indoor Cloud Experience' to Address LPG Shortage
- Nation With 88% Oil Dependence Noted for Sturdy Economic Foundation Built Entirely on Other People’s Oceans
- Nation’s Invisible Poor Thank Photographer for Moving Them from Actual Shadows to High-Contrast Artistic Ones
- State Department ‘Closely Tracking’ Kidnapped Journalist With Same Intensity Used to Track Previous 400 Warnings to Leave Iraq
- State With Rs 8 Lakh Crore Debt Promises to Buy Everyone a New Toaster
- Supreme Court Rejects 40-Year-Old Property Claim After Determining Plaintiff Failed to Stay Immortal Enough
March 2026
(28 rectifications)
March 31, 2026
- Actor-Turned-Politician Charged with Violating Rules He Just Learned Exist Three Weeks Ago
- Agency That Summoned Man 52 Times Shocked He Did Not Attend 53rd Summons
- Allies Politely Request Ukraine Consider Losing War More Affordably
- Army Launches Investigation Into Why Helicopter Went Exactly Where Kid Rock Wanted It To Go
- BJP Candidate Praised for Successfully Appearing Serious While Campaigning in State Party Has Never Won
- BJP Leaders Who Publicly Feuded for 18 Months Stand Together Long Enough for Photographer to Take Picture
- CM Announces Centre Anti-People, Plans to Address Issue After Bypolls, Elections, Monsoon, Next Bypolls
- Delhi Government Announces Comprehensive Plan to Supply Water to City That Already Has Water Supply System
- Event Organizers Assure Disappointed Customers Next Year's Festival Will Also Fall Short of Expectations
- Kashmir Carpet Industry Grateful for Opportunity to Not Attend Exhibitions They Could Not Afford Anyway
- Nation Confirms 30-Year-Old Arrest Video Now More Culturally Significant Than Entire Body of National Literature
- Regional Powers Assure Citizens Tanker Attack Unlikely to Disrupt Cycle of Assurances About Regional Stability
- Social Media Companies Promise to Enforce Age Ban Just As Soon As Someone Explains How
- Spain Announces Bold Stance Against War After Checking Which Military Bases US Doesn't Actually Need
- Spain Carefully Explains It Only Meant 'Joint' Military Base in Figurative Sense
- State Government Successfully Transfers ₹1,000 to Workers After 11-Month Process to Determine Transfer Mechanism
- Trump Willing to End War Once All Participants Agree to Keep Fighting at Current Levels
- US Lawmaker Confident Royal Visit Perfect Opportunity to Address Issue No One in Power Has Addressed
March 30, 2026
- Access Granted to Holy Site After Concerns About Safety Successfully Addressed by Announcing Access Granted
- Bank of America Confirms Building Successfully Protected Assets During Brief Exterior Incident
- Election Commission Announces Plan to Make Elections Clean After Making Them Clean
- Experts Confirm Leader's Gut Performing Exactly As Expected
- Government Successfully Delivers Promises It Never Made While Carefully Preserving Ones It Did
- Political Party Announces Candidate Will Contest From Constituency, Await Further Updates on Other Candidates Contesting From Other Constituencies
- Regime Change Confirmed After Official Notices It Happened
- Regional Powers Confirm Commitment to Dialogue While Attacking Each Other's Infrastructure
- Regulators Discover Children Not Born Requiring Anti-Aging Serums
March 28, 2026