NEW DELHI — Parliament convened a special three-day session on Tuesday to pass a historic constitutional amendment that will finally grant women 33 percent representation in the Lok Sabha, an achievement made entirely possible by mathematically ensuring no existing male MP has to sacrifice his chair.

According to the delimitation proposals introduced by the government, the total strength of the lower house will swell from 543 to 850 seats. Under the mandated quota, approximately 280 of those new seats will be reserved for women, leaving 570 seats available for men—a triumph of gender equality that leaves male politicians with 27 more seats than they possessed before the empowerment initiative began.

"For decades, previous reservation bills in 1996, 1998, and 2008 failed because male leaders deeply feared losing their constituencies to female candidates," explained a senior ministry official, reviewing blueprints for an expanded parliamentary seating gallery. "Then we realised: why force anyone to share the pie when we can just use taxpayer money to bake a massive second pie that consists entirely of male incumbents?"

Officials expressed deep pride in the resulting consensus, noting that nothing bridges India's fractured political divides quite like a bipartisan agreement to retain all of their current jobs while being publicly praised for their progressive values.