WASHINGTON — The administration announced Tuesday that its new automated processing system will go live on April 20, ensuring $166 billion in unlawfully collected tariffs is swiftly returned to the corporate middlemen who already charged the public for them.

"We have completed the primary development to make these victims whole," said an agency official, noting that 56,497 major importers are queued up to receive a streamlined $127 billion electronic payout in the first phase. According to recent industry polling, exactly zero percent of corporate chief financial officers plan to pass the government rebates along to the consumers who absorbed the original import taxes through higher retail prices.

While massive conglomerates will receive consolidated lump sums with compounded interest, officials confirmed that processing the remaining refunds will require 4.4 million man-hours. As a result, thousands of smaller businesses have discovered that the administrative cost of applying to get their money back will safely exceed the value of the refund itself.

To ensure the cycle of trade enforcement continues uninterrupted, the administration has denounced the Supreme Court ruling that mandated the refunds and immediately imposed a new, identical global tariff under a completely different emergency statute.