MUMBAI — Following a Rs 590 crore fraud incident that wiped Rs 14,000 crore from its market capitalization, a prominent private bank has reassured investors by releasing a special "normalized" earnings report that politely pretends the theft never occurred.

While actual quarterly profit stood at Rs 319 crore, bank executives proudly presented a "Normalized PAT" of Rs 746 crore—a 145% year-on-year increase achieved entirely by moving the post-tax impact of the massive fraud into an imaginary financial dimension. "If you simply remove the catastrophic loss of state government funds, our quarter was nothing short of spectacular," said a spokesperson, noting that the bank successfully offset a fraction of the burden with a Rs 35 crore employee dishonesty insurance payout.

The creative accounting exercise comes weeks after the Haryana government de-empanelled the institution over the missing funds. Despite immediate deposit outflows and a downgrade by major rating agencies, the bank's chief executive told investors that asset quality remains highly stable, provided one does not look at the specific assets that were taken.

Regulators are reportedly monitoring the situation, confirming there is no "systemic risk" to the broader financial sector so long as every institution learns to officially classify institutional looting as a one-time, non-recurring expense.