WASHINGTON — Following a brief April ceasefire, the administration announced Tuesday that Iran’s 14-point response to a U.S. 9-point peace proposal is "totally unacceptable," assuring voters that the mutually beneficial geopolitical gridlock will continue unabated.

"We cannot possibly accept terms that require us to lift the naval blockade we initiated in February," a spokesperson said, noting that surging global oil prices provide ideal friction for upcoming campaign speeches. "Our position has remained consistent since the President unilaterally withdrew from the 2015 nuclear agreement: we demand sweeping concessions in exchange for future agreements we reserve the right to abandon."

The fundamental gap between the two nations remains perfectly intact, preventing any accidental resolutions. The administration is demanding full disarmament and unimpeded control of shipping, while Tehran is insisting on regional sovereignty and the lifting of sanctions that have driven domestic inflation over 50 percent.

"At the end of the day, a resolved conflict simply does not poll well," one official explained, reviewing strategy documents for the November midterms. "Both sides have invested heavily in this crisis, and we're not about to let a sudden outbreak of peace jeopardize that return on investment."