WASHINGTON—Responding to reports of widespread exhaustion and 'mounting desperation' among Iranian civilians following a month of sustained aerial bombardment, Pentagon officials clarified Thursday that the inability to sleep is not a side effect of the war, but a key performance indicator of the liberation process.

“We understand that residents of Tehran haven’t slept since late February,” said a Department of Defense spokesperson, gesturing to a thermal map of high-intensity 'freedom bursts' over various oil depots. “But it’s important to view this not as sleep deprivation, but as an extended, high-intensity vigil for democracy. You can’t build a new civil society if you’re unconscious for eight hours a day.”

The briefing addressed recent reports from Tehran describing 'black rain'—a phenomenon caused by soot from bombed fuel reserves mixing with precipitation—by noting that the darkened skies actually provide the perfect aesthetic backdrop for the 'dawning of a new era.'

State Department analysts argued that the 200% increase in gas prices and the shuttering of bazaars ahead of Nowruz are 'economic incentives' designed to ensure citizens have no distractions while they contemplate their impending regime change. When asked about the 14 million residents currently navigating checkpoints and empty metro stations, officials noted that 'reduced congestion' is a hallmark of efficient, Western-style urban planning.

“The silence in the streets that the BBC is reporting? We call that ‘consultative quietude,’” the spokesperson added. “And the constant sound of drones every thirty minutes is simply a rhythmic reminder that the international community is thinking of them. It’s essentially a 24-hour white noise machine, provided at the expense of the American taxpayer.”

At press time, officials were working on a new leaflet drop for the city of Rasht, explaining that the current lack of electricity is a 'mandatory Earth Hour' intended to help Iran meet its future carbon-neutral goals once the industrial base has been safely deleted.