Topic: military
The Bureau of Prolefeed covers military through daily AI-generated satire — deadpan commentary based on real Indian and global news headlines. 59 dispatches filed.
- Military Secures Vital Shipping Lane By Disabling Commercial Vessel And Bombing Bridges Around It — July 24, 2026
- Nation That Cannot Keep Its Own Government Open Offers To Run World's Busiest Strait — June 22, 2026
- President "Very Close To Final Deal" With Nations Currently Bombing Each Other — June 9, 2026
- Prime Minister Carefully Considers U.S. President's 'Strongest Possible Language' Before Bombing Capital Anyway — June 8, 2026
- US Hails 'Diplomatic Breakthrough' As Ceasefire Survives 41 Rocket Operations and Continued Airstrikes — June 5, 2026
- Pentagon Hires Man Convicted of Attacking U.S. Capitol as Sensitive Counterterrorism Analyst — June 3, 2026
- Prime Minister Confident Seizing Castle Will Deliver 'Decisive Shift' Missing Since 1982 — June 1, 2026
- Admiral Claims 90% of Enemy Base Destroyed, Calls Questions About Surviving 70% 'Inappropriate' — May 20, 2026
- CBI Asks How Official Earning Rs 20 Lakh Annually Amassed Rs 1.92 Crore — May 20, 2026
- European Navy Offers to Protect India's Undersea Cables in Exchange for Lucrative Defense Contracts — May 15, 2026
- $8.2 Billion Arms Exporter Asked to 'Reflect' on Decision to Provide Customer Support — May 12, 2026
- Ceasefire Remains Intact Because Sinking Six Enemy Boats Qualifies as 'Not Heavy Firing' — May 8, 2026
- Commander of $886 Billion Military Tells Man With No Army He Misunderstands 'Real World' — May 6, 2026
- Officials Confirm Terror Has Been Decisively Crippled For Third Time In Nine Years — May 6, 2026
- President's 'Humanitarian Gesture' for 2,000 Stranded Ships Consists Mostly of Airstrikes on Fast Boats — May 5, 2026
- President Rejects 14-Point Peace Plan, Citing Unacceptable Risk to $120-a-Barrel Oil Prices — May 4, 2026
- President Punishes Ally for Criticism By Moving 5,000 Troops, Cites 'Strategic Review' — May 3, 2026
- Administration Prepares to Not Withdraw 5,000 Troops From Germany for Second Time Since 2020 — May 2, 2026
- Military Baffled As 'Unknown Gunmen' Tragically Assassinate 30th High-Profile Terrorist Commander — April 27, 2026
- Prime Minister Orders 'Vigorous Attacks' to Protect Integrity of Ongoing Ceasefire Efforts — April 27, 2026
- Officials Praise 'New Sovereignty Model' As Rebel Alliance Launches Coordinated Attacks Across 1,500 Kilometers — April 26, 2026
- Country That Blockaded 27 Vessels Says Peace Talks Dependent On Other Side Negotiating In 'Good Faith' — April 21, 2026
- Administration Lays Groundwork for Peace Talks by Firing Artillery Into Opponent's Engine Room — April 20, 2026
- Historic Ceasefire Holds as Rival Navies Peacefully Maintain Competing Blockades Around 600 Trapped Commercial Ships — April 19, 2026
- President Who Posted AI Image of Himself as Jesus Formally Clarifies Catholic Doctrine for Pope — April 17, 2026
- Treasury Secretary Who Will Not Pay $100-a-Barrel Oil Prices Confirms Amount of Pain Worth Bearing Is Slightly More Than Whatever It Currently Is — April 15, 2026
- FIR Filed Against Brigadier's Attackers 45 Hours After Assault Witnessed by Policemen Who Were Also Present — April 14, 2026
- Lebanon Offers to Negotiate Disarmament of Group It Has Tried and Failed to Disarm Three Times in 16 Months — April 14, 2026
- Administration That Holds Pentagon Prayer Services in Name of Jesus Christ Concerned Pope Is Mixing Religion and Politics — April 13, 2026
- Pentagon Confirms Latest Successful Strike on Boat That Most Likely Would Have Had Drugs in it Eventually — April 13, 2026
- Trump Confirms 'Numerous Countries' Have Joined Hormuz Coalition; All Countries Confirm They Have Not — April 13, 2026
- President Complains Nation He 'Decimated' for Five Weeks Is Doing 'Very Poor Job' of Running Its Own Infrastructure — April 10, 2026
- 14-Day Ceasefire Successfully Moves War from 'Active Combat' to 'Semantics' as Rockets Fall in Non-Participating Zones — April 9, 2026
- U.S. Clarifies Ceasefire Only Applies to Countries Not Currently Being Bombed into the Stone Age — April 9, 2026
- President Promises Nation 8 P.M. Tuesday Will Be ‘Bridge Day’ and ‘Power Plant Day’ in Iran Following Successful Focus Group Testing — April 7, 2026
- Minister Threatens to Strike City 1,600km Away Using Only the Power of a Sialkot Press Club Microphone — April 6, 2026
- President Declares War ‘Very Complete, Pretty Much’ While Threatening to Bomb Every Remaining Bridge in Iran — April 6, 2026
- Germany Reassures Men Under 45 They Are Totally Free to Leave the Country After Asking Permission First — April 5, 2026
- President Assures Nation Iran Is 100% Defeated While Threatening to Bomb It for Another Three Weeks — April 5, 2026
- U.S. Offers Iran Choice Between 48-Hour Peace Deal or Slightly Louder 48-Hour Deadline — April 5, 2026
- Pentagon Confirms Downed F-15 Was Merely Testing Integrity of Iran’s ‘Non-Existent’ Air Defenses — April 4, 2026
- Pentagon Optimistic Search for One Missing Pilot Only Costing Three Additional Aircraft So Far — April 4, 2026
- Defense Secretary Authorizes 2,000 Troops to Carry Weapons in City Where Crime Is Already at 30-Year Low — April 3, 2026
- Pentagon Reassures Sleepless Iranians That Their Insomnia Is a Vital Component of Their Liberation — April 3, 2026
- President Describes 'Lovely Stay' in Iran, Promises to Finish Trip by Obliterating Everyone's Electricity — April 3, 2026
- Israel Expands 'Buffer Zone' to Include Any Land Currently Not Under Its Direct Administration — April 2, 2026
- President Assures Nation Iran War Is 100% Finished Besides the Fighting and the Dying — April 2, 2026
- President Confirms 48 Iranian Leaders 'Gone in One Shot,' Expects 49th to Be Very Cooperative — April 2, 2026
- Defense Minister Clarifies That 'Temporary' Security Zone Is Only Temporary Until It Becomes a Permanent Border — April 1, 2026
- Kingdom Proudly Intercepts 4,000th Iranian Drone Intended for Country 1,200 Kilometers Away — April 1, 2026
- Allies Politely Request Ukraine Consider Losing War More Affordably — March 31, 2026
- Army Launches Investigation Into Why Helicopter Went Exactly Where Kid Rock Wanted It To Go — March 31, 2026
- Kashmir Carpet Industry Grateful for Opportunity to Not Attend Exhibitions They Could Not Afford Anyway — March 31, 2026
- Regional Powers Assure Citizens Tanker Attack Unlikely to Disrupt Cycle of Assurances About Regional Stability — March 31, 2026
- Spain Announces Bold Stance Against War After Checking Which Military Bases US Doesn't Actually Need — March 31, 2026
- Spain Carefully Explains It Only Meant 'Joint' Military Base in Figurative Sense — March 31, 2026
- Access Granted to Holy Site After Concerns About Safety Successfully Addressed by Announcing Access Granted — March 30, 2026
- Bank of America Confirms Building Successfully Protected Assets During Brief Exterior Incident — March 30, 2026
- Regional Powers Confirm Commitment to Dialogue While Attacking Each Other's Infrastructure — March 30, 2026