WASHINGTON/TEHRAN — The international community breathed a sigh of relief Thursday as a fragile 14-day ceasefire between the United States and Iran successfully entered its second day of being completely ignored by almost every combatant on the ground.

Following backchannel negotiations in Pakistan, the truce—described by Vice President JD Vance as "fragile" and by President Donald Trump as a sign that Iran has undergone a "very productive Regime Change"—has achieved its primary goal of allowing both nations to claim victory while the actual war relocated slightly to the north.

"The ceasefire is holding up perfectly," said one State Department official, speaking on condition of anonymity while reviewing footage of Israeli airstrikes in Beirut. "If you look at the specific legal definitions agreed upon in Islamabad, the rockets currently landing in northern Israel don't exist in a diplomatic sense. They are falling in what we call a 'non-participating geographic zone' which allows the peace process to continue uninterrupted."

In Tehran, thousands gathered in Enqelab Square to celebrate the cessation of hostilities, waving posters of Supreme Leader Mojtaba Khamenei and cheering the reopening of the Strait of Hormuz. However, shipping data suggests only two tankers have moved through the waterway since the announcement, as captains remain hesitant to sail through a 'peace' that includes daily refinery strikes.

Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu confirmed that while Israel supports the two-week pause in direct US-Iran engagement, the deal does not extend to Lebanon, Hezbollah, or any projectiles launched on odd-numbered Thursdays. The distinction ensures that the 57,000 US troops in the region can remain on high alert while technically being at peace.

"We have moved from the 'annihilation' phase of the conflict into the 'clarification' phase," explained a spokesperson for the Pakistan-brokered talks. "Last week, the rhetoric was about civilizations dying tonight. This week, we are debating whether a drone strike on a fuel depot constitutes a 'breach' or merely an 'unfortunate kinetic disagreement.' This is what progress looks like."

As of press time, the WHO reported that health facilities in the region remain under "enormous strain," a condition that diplomatic sources confirmed was not explicitly forbidden under the 10-point workable plan. The ceasefire is scheduled to expire in twelve days, at which point officials expect to announce a second historic truce to address the wars that started during the first one.