WASHINGTON — The administration announced the successful launch of "Project Freedom" on Tuesday, confirming that its latest humanitarian gesture to aid over 2,000 ships stranded in the Strait of Hormuz since February has begun with a series of targeted airstrikes on fast boats.

"We are deeply concerned for the welfare of the seafarers who have been stuck for months, which is why we felt it necessary to immediately resume military escalation," said an administration spokesperson, noting that nothing provides comfort to trapped commercial sailors quite like the sound of nearby missile strikes and renewed attacks on United Arab Emirates oil facilities.

The humanitarian bombing campaign comes just weeks after a fragile April ceasefire, mediated via Pakistan, had temporarily halted hostilities. Defense officials praised the new initiative, explaining that the temporary pause in violence was failing to project the necessary leadership ahead of upcoming elections, nor was it doing much to stimulate the order books of major military contractors.

At press time, officials confirmed the humanitarian operation would aggressively continue until the shipping lanes were completely safe, or until a full-scale regional war made the stranded cargo entirely irrelevant.