NEW DELHI — Members of the national opposition alliance expressed profound, inconsolable grief Tuesday over an ally's crushing defeat in the 2026 state assembly elections, a tragedy that miraculously resolves a bitter, multi-year dispute over who gets to lead the coalition.

The state's incumbent party, which previously secured 215 seats in 2021, plummeted to below 90 seats in the recent polls. A senior opposition spokesperson condemned the result as a dark day for democracy, before confirming that future alliance leadership meetings would now be significantly shorter. "We stand in absolute, unwavering solidarity with our defeated ally in this dark hour," the spokesperson said, methodically crossing a prominent name off a proposed coalition seating chart.

Alliance leaders spent the morning loudly condemning the Election Commission's 'Special Intensive Revision,' which resulted in the exclusion of over 90 lakh voters from the state's electoral rolls. Privately, however, officials noted the electoral wipeout neatly concludes negotiations regarding the former Chief Minister's oft-repeated public vow to "take over Delhi" and orchestrate the "complete dismantling of the BJP in Delhi."

"It is simply tragic that the ruling party will now control over 200 assembly seats in the state, vastly expanding their national footprint and weakening our collective power," said one national party MP, actively struggling to suppress a smile. "But in the spirit of moving forward, we are prepared to shoulder the heavy burden of opposition leadership entirely on our own."