WASHINGTON — Declaring a historic victory for peace, the administration confirmed Tuesday that the April 7 ceasefire remains perfectly intact, despite the slight complication of U.S. forces actively sinking six enemy naval vessels in the Strait of Hormuz.

"The ongoing cessation of hostilities is proceeding exactly as planned," said a military spokesperson, explaining that the current exchange of missiles and drones constitutes "not heavy firing" and "not huge damage." Under the military's "Project Freedom" initiative, naval forces are now peacefully guiding commercial ships through the completely stable warzone, while simultaneously enforcing a crushing economic blockade designed to crash the adversary's economy.

Defense officials praised the durability of the armistice, noting it successfully withstood recent attacks on a South Korean ship and a strike on the UAE that left an oil facility ablaze. By classifying the ongoing maritime combat as a diplomatic triumph, the executive branch has successfully avoided triggering War Powers Resolution reporting requirements that would otherwise force congressional oversight of a new war.

"The region is completely under control, which is why gas is currently $4.48 a gallon," the spokesperson added, addressing the $1.50 price spike that has occurred since hostilities began on February 28. "Americans must understand that higher prices at the pump are simply the necessary cost of maintaining such a robust, explosive peace."