NEW DELHI — Citing an urgent need to save the state from its own ballot box, the Prime Minister announced continued efforts to rescue West Bengal's citizens from the very political party they overwhelmingly endorsed in the recent 2024 Lok Sabha elections.

"The people of Bengal are crying out, they do not want a cruel government," said a party spokesperson, repeating recent campaign rhetoric. When asked why these allegedly weeping citizens had just handed the "cruel" incumbent party 29 parliamentary seats while giving the national party only 12 against a target of 35-plus, the official clarified that the voters were simply crying tears of anticipation for more national rallies.

The rescue mission follows the exact same strategic blueprint deployed during the 2021 state elections. During that campaign, the national party heavily promoted the imminent arrival of a "double-engine" government, a promise maintained until the state's citizens inexplicably expressed their profound dissatisfaction by awarding the incumbent party 213 out of 294 assembly seats.

In response to the renewed rescue efforts, the state's Chief Minister challenged the Prime Minister to hold new elections immediately tomorrow, ensuring the region's intense "us vs. them" polarization can proceed at full volume without the tedious distraction of actual governance.