NEW DELHI — Expressing deep disappointment at the breakdown of parliamentary decorum, government officials praised the opposition on Tuesday for creating the exact amount of disruptive chaos necessary to pass the Registration of Births and Deaths Bill without a single moment of debate.

The legislation, which overhauls how vital records are tracked and introduces stringent data collection measures, was cleared via voice vote while opposition members shouted over student police crackdowns, paper leaks, and an alleged Ram temple theft. The strategy builds upon the successful passage of the 2023 Forest Amendment Bill during a walkout over Manipur, and the 2024 Telecommunications Bill, which achieved flawless legislative consensus only after 13 dissenting MPs were suspended.

"It is a tragic day for our democratic institutions when 'hungama' and cheap politics prevent us from explaining the sweeping privacy implications of this law to the public," said a government spokesperson, noting that the cabinet minister listed on the official business agenda to introduce the bill did not even need to be present in the chamber for it to pass. "Because the opposition refused to sit down, we had no choice but to immediately make it the law of the land."

The spokesperson confirmed the government is currently reviewing the schedule of upcoming opposition protests to determine when the next three bills can be thoroughly debated.