NEW DELHI — Dismissing opposition allegations of manipulating fuel rates for political gain, government officials clarified Tuesday that global crude oil markets simply possess a deep, abiding respect for India's electoral calendar.

"It is purely coincidental that international petroleum prices stabilized completely during the campaign period and immediately surged once voting concluded, exactly as they did following the May 2021 and May 2024 polls," a ministry spokesperson said. The official warned citizens not to fall for opposition misinformation campaigns regarding the sudden price hikes, noting that global supply chains are highly sensitive to when the Model Code of Conduct is lifted.

Addressing on-the-ground reports of petrol pump rationing and LPG unavailability, the ruling party assured the public that there is no domestic fuel shortage. Instead, officials explained that maximizing excise duty collections is necessary to protect consumers from the "war-like situation in West Asia"—a severe geopolitical crisis that miraculously refrained from impacting local pump prices while candidates were filing their nomination papers.

At press time, domestic oil marketing companies were reportedly reviewing the Election Commission's upcoming state assembly schedule to determine the exact dates of their next unavoidable global supply shock.