NEW DELHI — India's premier meteorological agency, the India Meteorological Department (IMD), has released its highly anticipated annual forecast, informing citizens that the summer of 2026 will bring 'above-normal heatwave days' to most parts of the country. This groundbreaking prediction, which mirrors similar warnings issued in 2024 and 2025, confirms a consistent pattern of the weather remaining exactly as advertised: increasingly warmer.

Officials expressed confidence in the forecast, noting that their models have accurately predicted 'hotter than normal' conditions for the past several years, a track record they claim is 'unblemished by actual cooling trends.' The announcement comes as parts of Delhi brace for temperatures reaching 44°C, while Kerala anticipates conditions 2-3°C above normal, ensuring a diverse range of heat-related experiences for the national populace.

Experts suggest that the IMD's role has subtly shifted from predicting unforeseen weather anomalies to simply confirming the ongoing and entirely foreseeable consequences of climate change. This commitment to telling the public what they already experience has reportedly saved significant resources previously spent on more optimistic, though ultimately inaccurate, forecasts. The department is now exploring opportunities to issue similar warnings for 'more traffic than usual' and 'longer queues at government offices.'

A spokesperson, speaking from an air-conditioned office, stated, "We are monitoring the situation closely and will continue to provide accurate, distressing updates as the situation predictably unfolds. Our duty is to inform, not to surprise. And certainly not to cool." They added that a committee would be formed to investigate why the public continues to react with anything other than stoic acceptance.