NEW DELHI — The national food safety regulator has fully complied with a Supreme Court order to implement clear front-of-pack warning labels by proposing a highly detailed, small-print nutrition table on the back of the packet, officials confirmed Tuesday.

"We heard the February 2026 directive to prioritize citizen health over corporate interests loud and clear," said a regulatory spokesperson, explaining that hiding the warnings on the reverse side and replacing them with a complex grid of percentages ensures citizens get a vigorous mental workout before consuming high-fat snacks. "The Court wanted consumers to know there is sugar and fat. What better way than a four-point font table that requires a calculator, a magnifying glass, and a degree in biochemistry?"

The Supreme Court, apparently failing to appreciate the regulator's innovative approach to geometry, slammed the agency in an August hearing. Noting that "everybody knows there is sugar, fat, carbs," the bench gave the regulator two weeks to reconsider, explicitly asking if the agency was under "immense pressure" from multinational corporate houses and if it was taking the court "for a toss."

Industry representatives commended the regulator's steadfast commitment to the status quo, noting that clear, at-a-glance warnings would be devastating for the rapidly growing market of children currently addicted to their products.