BUDAPEST — Outgoing Prime Minister Viktor Orbán expressed a rare moment of legislative regret Sunday night after realizing that the absolute, unchecked executive authority he spent nearly two decades perfecting has been legally transferred to a man who currently finds him very annoying.

Orbán, who oversaw the construction of a constitutional fortress specifically designed to withstand everything short of a direct asteroid strike, conceded defeat to former ally Péter Magyar. The landslide victory—52% to 38%—effectively hands Magyar a turn-key autocracy, complete with a state-run media apparatus and a judiciary that has been trained for 16 years to never say 'no' to the person sitting in the Prime Minister's chair.

"It is a bitter irony to discover that the 'Shield of National Sovereignty' I built to keep out Brussels is also remarkably effective at keeping out me," said a visibly hoarse Orbán, standing before a bank of microphones he had personally authorized only three years ago. "I spent my career ensuring that the opposition was a toothless, fragmented joke. It appears I succeeded so well that the only person capable of defeating me was a version of myself who simply owned a tighter-fitting suit."

Legal experts note that Magyar now inherits a 'Deep State' that was restructured by Orbán in 2011, 2014, and 2022 to ensure that the Prime Minister’s Office is the only functioning organ of government. Because Orbán successfully gerrymandered 106 districts to favor a single dominant party, Magyar’s Tisza party is now projected to enjoy the same 'supermajority' privileges Orbán once used to redefine marriage, limit press freedom, and decide which kindergartens get indoor plumbing.

"We are very excited to use the 'Orbán Emergency Powers Act of 2020' to investigate every person who helped write the Orbán Emergency Powers Act of 2020," said a Tisza spokesperson, while testing the ergonomic swiveling capabilities of the Prime Minister’s leather chair. "It’s a magnificent machine. You just pull this lever labeled 'National Interest' and 400 local newspapers immediately start printing whatever you said at breakfast. We really have to hand it to Viktor; he made the transition to a new era incredibly efficient by leaving only one desk in the entire country with any actual power."

At press time, Orbán was seen desperately attempting to change the Wi-Fi password for the Parliament building, only to find that the administrative override code was his own birthday, a fact Magyar—as a former Fidesz insider—had guessed on his first try.