NEW DELHI — A day after police forces deployed lathis against students protesting the latest NEET paper leak in the capital, the government reassured the public that the "security and future of the youth" remains its utmost priority, provided those youth stop complaining about the 152 exam leaks that have victimized 7.5 crore students.

"This is a time for collective national responsibility, not partisan politics about why the system repeatedly fails," a spokesperson said, urging citizens to focus on the four individual arrests made during the 2021 NEET leak rather than the overarching pattern of systemic collapse dating back to the 2015 AIPMT. The spokesperson emphasized that the Education Minister continues to serve valiantly in his post, having successfully evaded any high-level accountability for the ongoing crisis.

Addressing the detained protesters, officials confirmed that future exams would be safeguarded with the exact same rigor currently applied to crowd dispersal. "We simply cannot allow the ruined futures of 7.5 crore students to be politicised," an official noted, politely gesturing toward a stack of pending 2024 re-examination schedules while instructing officers to secure the perimeter against any youth attempting to secure their future.