KOLKATA — Hailing the complete absence of political competition as a triumph of the people, the Chief Minister declared Tuesday's assembly repoll a "festival" and a "second Independence Day" following the main opposition candidate's timely withdrawal from the race.

The May 21 repoll was ordered after the initial April 29 election was countermanded due to "severe electoral offences," including widespread EVM tampering and voter intimidation. Authorities noted a marked improvement in the security situation during the second attempt.

"We analyzed the chaos of the first poll and identified the root cause of the violence: a contested ballot," an election official said. "By ensuring the opposition candidate stepped aside in the name of 'peace and development,' we have successfully eliminated all friction from the democratic process."

The opposition candidate reportedly withdrew from campaigning shortly after the Chief Minister promised a "special package for development" in the region. Though the candidate's name remained on the physical EVMs, the ruling party confidently projected a "virtual walkover" to secure its 208th assembly seat.

"We are thrilled that voters have finally gotten their rights back after ten years," a ruling party spokesperson said, gesturing toward a completely empty polling booth. "True democracy is the freedom to cast a ballot in absolute, uninterrupted silence."