WASHINGTON — Following a devastating 2023 Supreme Court order mandating the safe return of a man they had illegally deported, the Justice Department announced Tuesday that it had suddenly remembered a highly pressing traffic stop from 2022.

The individual, whose deportation to El Salvador's CECOT mega-prison was carried out despite a 2019 immigration judge explicitly barring his removal, was finally flown back to the United States in June. Upon touching down, he was immediately indicted on human smuggling charges stemming from a years-old traffic incident that federal prosecutors had previously left untouched.

"Our charging decisions are based entirely on a blind, impartial review of the facts," a Justice Department spokesperson explained. "And in this case, the facts clearly showed that the defendant had just successfully forced the administration to comply with the law. We take that kind of brazen defiance of our authority very seriously."

A federal judge has since dismissed the criminal case, labeling it a "vindictive prosecution" after discovering the delayed charges suddenly became a "top priority" for the Acting Attorney General and Homeland Security Secretary strictly following the administration's Supreme Court defeat. At press time, officials were reportedly reviewing the 2018 parking records of several other individuals who had recently won injunctions against the government.