NEW DELHI — The Ministry of Consumer Affairs issued a clarifying statement on Thursday, noting that the impending 15% hike in beer prices should be interpreted by citizens not as an inflationary burden, but as a "refreshing participation" in India’s complex Middle Eastern foreign policy.

The announcement comes as the Brewers Association of India, representing global giants like Heineken and AB InBev, warned that a regional war 3,000 kilometers away has successfully accomplished what decades of health campaigning could not: making a chilled Kingfisher economically non-viable for the average person.

"While the disruption of Qatari gas exports is a matter of high-level diplomatic friction, the primary victim is the glass-melting furnace," said an official from the Department of Internal Trade, speaking on condition of anonymity while sipping room-temperature water. "We are asking the youth to understand that every extra 30 rupees spent on a bottle is a direct investment in the reality that we import 40% of our gas from a conflict zone."

In Mumbai and Bengaluru, glass bottle manufacturers have reportedly cut production by 40% as gas-powered furnaces flicker out, leading to a projected 'dry summer' that has nothing to do with prohibition and everything to do with the price of adhesive tape and paper cartons doubling overnight.

"The sustainability of our operations is at risk," noted a spokesperson for the Brewers Association, who confirmed they are lobbying individual state governments for a 'War-Time Thirst Surcharge.' "We are optimistic that states will recognize that an Indian summer without affordable beer is a greater threat to civil order than a marginal increase in the cost of living."

As of press time, the government was reportedly considering a new scheme titled 'Atmanirbhar Pyas,' which would encourage citizens to manufacture their own glass bottles at home using recycled sand and sheer patriotic willpower to avoid noticing the heat.