MUMBAI — Citing the urgent need to rid the city of oppressive foreign symbols, a state cabinet minister whose real estate portfolio includes the luxury high-rise "Trump Tower" has formally proposed renaming the 98-year-old King Edward Memorial (KEM) Hospital.

The minister submitted a letter to the civic body this week suggesting the facility be rebranded as "Kaushalya Eklavya Memorial" to retain its famous acronym while promoting indigenous heritage. Medical staff and alumni, who recently highlighted severe shortages of basic medicines and lifesaving equipment, expressed relief that the hospital's crippling lack of resources would soon be occurring under a culturally appropriate banner.

"Removing this symbol of slavery is the single most pressing public health infrastructure issue we face today," said a ministry spokesperson, defending the government's repeated attempts to change the name since the hospital's centenary celebrations began in January. "A patient waiting weeks for a scan on a broken machine will heal much faster knowing their delayed treatment is finally decolonized."

When questioned by opposition MPs about the irony of championing 'Swadeshi' heritage while heavily profiting from foreign-branded luxury real estate projects, officials clarified that eradicating foreign influence is a process strictly reserved for places where poor people go to be treated.