SRINAGAR — Detailing the latest medical advancements in narcotic rehabilitation, the centrally appointed administration confirmed on Tuesday that the most effective treatment for substance abuse is heavy earth-moving equipment. The ongoing campaign has already seized "crores in properties," successfully protecting at-risk youth by permanently removing their access to living rooms.

"Our 2021 awareness campaign achieved some success, but not to the extent hoped," a spokesperson from the appointed administration explained. "In 2023, we tried foot marches to encourage a societal approach. However, by 2026, our data clearly showed that the only proven method to stop narcotics is to bypass the elected government entirely and bulldoze their constituents' houses."

Addressing concerns from an elected minister who noted that neighboring Jammu has higher addiction rates but sees no demolitions, the administration clarified its targeted approach. "While it is true that the majority of addicts reside in one region, the actual properties we need to seize to consolidate central authority happen to be located exclusively in Kashmir," the official said, adding that it was inappropriate for elected representatives to question how smuggled goods routinely bypass national security forces in the first place.

At press time, officials confirmed the anti-drug demolition drive would continue until the local political opposition was fully rehabilitated.