NEW DELHI — The Union Government informed the Supreme Court on Tuesday that the recently constituted Fact Checking Unit (FCU) has no intention of curbing genuine satire, clarifying that the state only intends to prosecute humorists whose timing, delivery, or subject matter is deemed 'nationally inconvenient.'

Addressing a Bench headed by the Chief Justice, the Solicitor General explained that under the amended IT Rules, the government would act as a 'discerning audience member,' utilizing the full weight of the law to provide constructive feedback to citizens who fail to land a joke correctly.

"There is no intention under the statute to curb humor," the Solicitor General stated, while simultaneously defending the unit’s power to label any content regarding government business as 'fake' or 'misleading.' "We are merely establishing a high-level committee of critics to ensure that the nation’s comedy remains aligned with the official reality. If a joke doesn't result in a smile from the concerned authorities, it is logically a false statement of fact."

The government’s submission comes after the Bombay High Court previously struck down the FCU, calling the terms 'fake, false, and misleading' too vague. In response, the Centre has assured the apex court that it 'knows it when it sees it,' and that most comedians currently in custody are simply there because their sets exceeded the legally permissible limit of irony.

According to sources within the Ministry of Electronics and Information Technology, the FCU will be staffed by career bureaucrats who have spent a combined 140 years never laughing at anything. These officials will be tasked with reviewing memes, stand-up clips, and WhatsApp forwards to determine if the satire 'substantially deviates' from press releases issued by the Press Information Bureau.

"We are pro-humor," said an official from the Rectification Bureau, speaking on condition of anonymity. "For instance, we find it very funny when citizens believe their digital rights are absolute. That is a top-tier joke. However, when a comedian suggests that a bridge collapse is due to anything other than 'unforeseen gravity,' that is no longer satire—it is a threat to the sovereign integrity of our engineering department."

The Court noted that a balance must be struck between the right to free speech and the government’s right to not have its feelings hurt. To assist in this, the government has proposed a 'Satire Pre-Clearance Certificate,' where comedians can submit their scripts to a sub-committee of the Home Ministry three years in advance of any performance.

As of press time, the Fact Checking Unit had already flagged the Supreme Court’s request for 'balance' as potentially misleading, pending a full review by the Ministry of Symmetry.