IMPHAL — A week after community groups successfully negotiated the exchange of 28 hostages following the killing of three church leaders, the state government has boldly stepped in to handle the remaining 20 missing citizens by transferring their paperwork to the National Investigation Agency (NIA). Officials confirmed the move successfully shifts accountability for the six Nagas and 14 Kukis who remain unaccounted for to a completely different time zone.

"We are making all out efforts to subside the tense situation and bring peace," said the Chief Minister, explaining that handing cases to a federal agency is the administrative equivalent of hitting the snooze button on an active security crisis. The transfer directly addresses complaints from community leaders, who recently observed that state police deployments consisted entirely of "doing the drama to pretend to be doing search operations."

By centralizing the investigation, authorities hope to streamline the process of not finding the remaining captives despite the abductions occurring in high-security areas.

"Our localized hostage diplomacy system was highly efficient, successfully swapping 14 Kukis for 14 Nagas without traditional law enforcement getting in the way," noted a senior official, carefully placing the empty investigation files into an outbound shipping box. "But for these final 20 missing individuals, we felt it was important that no arrests be made at the highest possible level of government."