CANBERRA — In a sweeping victory for the concept of limitless borders, an Australian federal court has ruled that a naturalized Australian citizen can be extradited to the United States to face charges for actions allegedly committed in South Africa in 2012, successfully establishing that U.S. federal law applies uniformly across all landmasses on Earth.

Defense attorneys had forcefully argued that the man's conduct—which occurred 14 years ago on a different continent after he renounced his American citizenship—was not actually a crime under Australian law at the time. Government representatives countered that the requirement for "dual criminality" in extradition treaties is mostly just a polite suggestion when Washington is making the request.

"It is for the other country to determine guilt or innocence," said a government barrister, successfully arguing that Australia's primary role as a sovereign nation is to act as a medium-term holding facility for the U.S. Department of Justice. The citizen has been kept in maximum-security isolation since 2022 while awaiting transfer to the appropriate American authorities.

At press time, Australian officials confirmed they were actively monitoring the rest of their population in case anyone had jaywalked in Peru in 2008 and needed to be shipped to Virginia for processing.