KATHMANDU — In a seamless transition of power characteristic of the federal republic, former Prime Minister K.P. Sharma Oli has successfully moved his base of operations from the Prime Minister’s residence to a high-security hospital suite at Tribhuvan University Teaching Hospital.

The Kathmandu District Court granted a five-day remand for Mr. Oli on Sunday, confirming that while the former leader is no longer authorized to govern the country, he is still legally required to remain in the country, specifically in a room where the door only opens from the outside.

“The transition has been handled with the utmost respect for bureaucratic tradition,” said an official from the Ministry of Home Affairs, speaking on condition of anonymity while shredding documents from the previous administration. “Mr. Oli spent years perfecting the art of staying in power; he is now applying that same dedication to the art of staying in a clinical observation ward.”

The arrest follows the findings of a probe commission into the 'Gen Z' uprising of September 2025, which began when the government attempted to ban social media and ended when the social media users attempted to ban the government. The commission noted that the deaths of 76 individuals under Mr. Oli's watch were not, as previously claimed, a 'statistical anomaly,' but rather the result of what investigators termed 'criminal negligence.'

Lawyers for Mr. Oli argued that their client cannot be held responsible for the crackdown because he was unaware that security forces were using live ammunition, a claim the commission report described as 'innovative storytelling.'

“Our client is a victim of a tectonic shift in politics,” said a spokesperson for the CPN-UML, gesturing toward a group of supporters currently attempting to hurl flaming tires at the tectonic plates. “It is a grave injustice to arrest a man for actions he committed while he was too busy being Prime Minister to notice he was committing them.”

Sources within the newly formed Balendra Shah government confirmed that the first item on their cabinet agenda was the arrest of their predecessors, a move described by political analysts as 'the only campaign promise ever kept in under twenty-four hours.'

As of press time, Mr. Oli was attending his court hearings via video link, a technology he once attempted to ban but now finds useful for avoiding the indignity of walking into a courtroom. Officials confirmed that if the five-day remand is extended, the former Prime Minister will be upgraded from 'Detainee' to 'Long-term Resident with Limited Visitation Rights.'