KOLKATA — Bureaucrats in West Bengal have expressed professional admiration for the state’s ability to keep the socio-economic status of its Muslim population perfectly refrigerated since 1977, despite the high heat of recurring election cycles.

According to recent data, the community’s representation in state government jobs remains fixed at approximately 7%, a figure that has shown a resilient refusal to move even slightly toward the population’s 30% share, regardless of which party’s flag is currently being waved at the local tea stall.

“It is a triumph of bureaucratic inertia over political rhetoric,” said an official with the Records Division, speaking on condition of anonymity while filing a 2026 manifesto into a drawer containing identical promises from 1996. “We’ve seen the Congress, the Left Front, and the Trinamool Congress all apply their unique branding to the situation, yet the 7% figure remains as immovable as a state-run bus on strike day.”

Addressing a rally in Murshidabad, Hyderabad-based MP Asaduddin Owaisi noted that the community has spent half a century voting for a rotating cast of saviors with the exact same result. Analysts point out that the transition from the Left’s 'Class Struggle' to the TMC’s 'Ma Mati Manush' resulted in a net gain of 0.0% in institutional representation, suggesting that the laws of physics do not apply to Bengal’s administrative recruitment.

“The system is working exactly as intended,” explained a Ministry Correspondent. “The role of the community is to provide the 30% required for a majority, while the role of the government is to ensure the 7% doesn’t accidentally turn into an 8%, which might disrupt the delicate balance of promising to do something tomorrow.”

In response to the stagnation, a new alliance has been formed to contest 182 seats in the April 2026 polls. The alliance has promised a 'jolt' to the system, which experts believe will result in a brand-new committee that will meet in 2029 to discuss why the 7% figure hasn't changed by 2031.

At press time, several political consultants were reportedly testing new slogans for 2031 to see which synonym for ‘upliftment’ sounds most convincing when shouted from a stage built by workers who will not be eligible for the jobs being promised.