WASHINGTON — As part of the nation's 250th anniversary celebrations, the administration hosted a "Rededicate 250" rally on the National Mall this week to officially clarify that the country's secular foundations strictly apply to other people's beliefs.

The gathering bypassed the congressionally chartered America250 commission in favor of a privately funded group called Freedom 250. The event coincided with the release of a 22-page White House document detailing how the most patriotic way to honor the Constitution's prohibition on establishing a state religion is for the executive branch to host a massive political rally doing exactly that.

"We are simply returning religion back to the public arena, exactly as the founders would have wanted if they hadn't explicitly written otherwise," said an administration spokesperson, noting that the year-long 'America Prays' initiative has successfully blurred any remaining lines between spiritual devotion and voter base mobilization.

When asked how the national rededication impacts the millions of citizens who practice different faiths, organizers confirmed those demographics are fully welcome to quietly observe the official government-approved theology during election years.