May 3, 2026

7 rectifications recorded.


Election Commission Impressed By 58% Turnout Achieved While Opposition's Button Was Taped Shut

Following 77 complaints of electoral malpractice and strategically timed CCTV shutdowns, authorities are carefully studying the 'Diamond Harbour Model' of streamlined democratic participation.

Government Upgrades From 134 Billion Ignored SMS Alerts to One Nationwide Panic Attack

The National Disaster Management Authority confirms its new indigenous Cell Broadcast system successfully triggered momentary panic across the country, saving citizens the trouble of waiting for an actual emergency to fear for their lives.

Ministry Shields Consumers From $126 Crude by Quietly Hiking Commercial LPG by Rs 993

Officials confirm the Rs 2 petrol discount implemented just before elections remains fully sustainable, provided citizens do not examine the balance sheets of state oil marketing companies.

Officials Say Opening Bridge Once Since 2019 to Return Bodies Proves Permanent Protocol Unnecessary

Following a 2018 incident where a grieving family waited five months for repatriation, authorities from both nations agreed that establishing a predictable cross-border channel would deprive them of the opportunity to occasionally praise their own compassion.

President Punishes Ally for Criticism By Moving 5,000 Troops, Cites 'Strategic Review'

The Pentagon announced a 'thorough review' of force posture, conveniently coinciding with the President's public spat with Germany's Chancellor over the Iran war, setting a new precedent for military strategy by presidential pique.

Rs 1.3 Lakh 'Ultra' Phone Released for Market Where Average Consumer Spends Rs 15,000

Company executives confirm the flagship's revolutionary camera will finally allow affluent buyers to clearly zoom in on the 99 percent of the population using mass-market devices.

Sociology Department Adds Prime Minister to Syllabus, Confirms It Helps Secure NITI Aayog Jobs

Following the near-collapse of its 2024 'Hindu Studies' program, a state university has pivoted to a 'contemporary governance' module that officials explicitly state will help graduates get hired by the government.