April 9, 2026

5 rectifications recorded.


14-Day Ceasefire Successfully Moves War from 'Active Combat' to 'Semantics' as Rockets Fall in Non-Participating Zones

Officials clarify that the historic US-Iran truce remains 100% intact as long as everyone ignores the 1,500 dead in Lebanon and the hundreds of rockets currently in mid-air.

Karnataka Voters Head to Polls to Formally Notarize Transfer of Assembly Seats to Deceased MLAs’ Children

Election officials confirm that while ballots feature multiple names, the process is primarily a legal formality to ensure the hereditary titles of Bagalkot and Davangere remain within the appropriate family vaults.

President Who Launched Unannounced War Shocked to Find Allies Didn't Pre-Position Frigates in His Imagination

Following a 'very frank' meeting in Brussels, the President noted that NATO’s failure to read his mind and deploy minesweepers to the Strait of Hormuz constitutes a 'foolish' betrayal of friendship.

Rs 1,250-per-Month Democracy Enters Final Bidding Phase as 2.5 Crore Voters Invited to Choose Their Preferred Cash-Transfer Brand

As Assam heads to the polls for 126 seats, officials confirm that the 'palpable change' reported by party leaders is actually the standardized national rate of inflation applied to election manifestos.

U.S. Clarifies Ceasefire Only Applies to Countries Not Currently Being Bombed into the Stone Age

Vice President JD Vance dismisses 254 deaths in Lebanon as a 'legitimate misunderstanding' of the word 'truce,' confirming that restraint is being shown in a very specific, non-literal way.