April 2, 2026

15 rectifications recorded.


Election Commission Successfully Protects Democracy by Banning Voters from Standing Near It

Authorities impose Section 163 to ensure the 2026 West Bengal Assembly polls remain a strictly paperwork-based exercise involving zero human interaction.

Government Assures Thalambur Residents That New Global Sports City Will Feature World-Class Underwater Hockey Facilities

Officials confirm that the 2,000-acre mega-project will seamlessly integrate with the existing local ecosystem of perennial flooding and disappearing wetlands by rebranding the disaster as an 'aquatic feature.'

Government Resolves 6-Year Smartphone Delay by Giving 2020 Handsets to Teachers Who Didn't Ask for Them

After failing to deliver 28,515 phones to Anganwadi workers since the pre-pandemic era, Punjab officials confirm the 'vintage' hardware will now be used to track the drug menace instead of malnutrition.

Government Successfully Protects Sensitive Coal Plants from Feeling Bullied by Solar Energy

Officials confirm that asking ancient thermal plants to 'slow down' during sunny hours would be emotionally and financially taxing, opting instead to pay solar farms Rs 630 crore to simply stop existing until sunset.

Government Thrilled by 'Renewed Public Interest' in Piped Gas After Successfully Making LPG Impossible to Find

Ministry of Petroleum reports surge in PNG applications as Chennai residents discover that 'choosing' a government-preferred utility is much easier when the alternative involves a 25-day wait and a 300% price hike.

India Reassured That Global Oil Crisis Will Continue Until Both Sides Finish Destroying Each Other’s Water

External Affairs Ministry expresses 'cautious optimism' as US and Iran reach a consensus that the only way to protect regional stability is to ensure no one has electricity or drinking water by Tuesday.

Israel Expands 'Buffer Zone' to Include Any Land Currently Not Under Its Direct Administration

Military officials clarify that the safest way to prevent Hezbollah from entering a territory is to ensure the IDF is already standing there permanently.

Man Who Called Partner 'Political Cancer' For 20 Years Thrilled to Begin Lifelong Honeymoon Phase

Deputy CM Samrat Choudhary confirms that his previous 7,000 speeches regarding Nitish Kumar’s 'betrayal of Bihar' were actually sophisticated terms of endearment.

Nation Relieved as $2 Billion Rocket Successfully Replicates Technology Developed in 1968

NASA confirms the Artemis II mission is successfully doing exactly what Apollo 8 did 58 years ago, but with significantly more expensive touchscreen monitors and a sturdier LinkedIn strategy.

Nation’s Most Efficient Spirit-Breaking Exercise Begins as JEE Main Session 2 Goes Live

National Testing Agency confirms that all biometric sensors, face scanners, and student anxiety levels are functioning at 100% capacity for the April session.

President Assures Nation Iran War Is 100% Finished Besides the Fighting and the Dying

In a primetime address, the President clarified that while victory was technically achieved three weeks ago, the military will remain indefinitely to complete the final 0% of the mission.

President Confirms 48 Iranian Leaders 'Gone in One Shot,' Expects 49th to Be Very Cooperative

White House claims 'Operation Epic Fury' is so ahead of schedule that the US is currently bombing the third string of replacements before they have even been issued their office keys.

Rupee Sprints Boldly Backward to 93.53 as RBI Rebrands Freefall as 'Controlled Descent'

The Reserve Bank of India celebrates a 'major recovery' as the currency stabilizes at a rate that would have caused a national emergency three months ago.

Tech Corridor Resident Celebrates 15th Year of 'Upcoming' Piped Water from Rs 2.5 Crore Balcony

Real estate developers confirm that Sholinganallur’s lack of streetlights and drainage is a 'vintage aesthetic' designed to complement the upcoming Rs 2.5 crore high-rise apartments.

U.S. Determines Venezuelan Official No Longer 'Undermining Democracy' Following Successful Kidnapping of Her Boss

Treasury Department lifts sanctions on Delcy Rodríguez after determining that her previous role in an 'authoritarian regime' has been successfully mitigated by the U.S. Navy seizing the rest of the Cabinet.