April 3, 2026

16 rectifications recorded.


Board That Can’t Stop Paper Leaks Successfully Delivers 1987 Pop Hit to 1.6 Million Math Students

CBSE confirms Class 12 Mathematics paper is 'genuine' after security QR code redirects stressed teenagers to Rick Astley music video instead of Calculus solutions.

Defense Secretary Authorizes 2,000 Troops to Carry Weapons in City Where Crime Is Already at 30-Year Low

Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth confirms National Guard troops will finally be armed to combat 'bedlam' in D.C., a city currently experiencing its lowest levels of violent crime since the mid-1990s.

Election Commission Successfully Disposes of 52 Lakh Voters Who Were Using Up Valuable Space on List

Commission officials praise the 'efficiency' of the 8th supplementary list after technical glitches successfully prevented deleted citizens from viewing the reasons for their sudden non-existence.

Former PM Who Banned Social Media Discovers Judicial Remand Also Works Offline

Following a pre-dawn raid, K.P. Sharma Oli transitions from 'Supreme Leader' to 'Patient in Judicial Custody' after a probe finds that accidentally killing 76 protesters constitutes 'negligence.'

Government Raises Milk Prices for Fourth Time to Ensure Farmers Can Afford to Feed Cows Raising Milk Prices

Officials confirm that the latest Rs 3 hike is a vital 'circular economy' measure designed to help dairy farmers keep up with the inflation caused by previous government measures.

Government Urges Citizens to View Lukewarm, Expensive Beer as Vital Contribution to Strategic Autonomy

As the Iran war drives glass bottle prices up by 20%, officials suggest that paying 15% more for a half-filled pint is a small price to pay for being the world's fourth-largest gas importer.

Man Whose Entire Career Is Built on Scripts Promises to Be Only Candidate Not Following One

Tamilaga Vettri Kazhagam chief Vijay files nomination for second assembly seat, assuring voters that his criticisms of the DMK and BJP are 100% improvised and definitely not part of a multi-crore production schedule.

Ministry Solving LPG Shortage by Suggesting Autos Try Using More Expensive Fuel They Don't Have

Petroleum Secretary advises state officials that the 30% gas deficit can be easily mitigated if drivers simply pretend it is 2004 and switch back to petrol.

NASA Finally Grants Astronauts Permission to Leave Earth’s Driveway After 25-Hour Life Support Vibe Check

Artemis II crew cleared for lunar departure once mission control confirmed the $20 billion spacecraft's toilet wouldn't explode and the cabin air was 'mostly' breathable.

Nation Spends $93 Billion to Send Four People to Place We Already Visited in 1972

NASA confirms Artemis II has successfully exited Earth's orbit, marking the first time in five decades the agency has successfully recreated its own previous accomplishments.

Pentagon Reassures Sleepless Iranians That Their Insomnia Is a Vital Component of Their Liberation

State Department officials confirm that the 'black rain' and 2:00 AM sorties are intended to create the 'restless energy' required for a spontaneous democratic transition.

President Describes 'Lovely Stay' in Iran, Promises to Finish Trip by Obliterating Everyone's Electricity

Following 'great progress' with a 'more reasonable' regime he claims to have personally installed, President Trump announces plans to transition from destroying leaders to destroying light switches.

President Trump Optimistic That Doubling Cost of Medicine Will Make It More Affordable

Administration officials clarify that a 100% tariff on life-saving drugs is the most logical way to lower healthcare costs for people who cannot afford their current prescriptions.

Trump Fired Attorney General for Doing Tremendous Job He Is Increasingly Frustrated by

President praises Pam Bondi’s 'historic' success in making America safe while immediately replacing her with his own defense attorney to fix the 'reputation-killing' delays she oversaw.

UN Security Council to Vote on Whether Explosions in Strait of Hormuz Should Be Rebranded as ‘Defensive Navigation’

Draft resolution introduced by Bahrain seeks to authorize 'all necessary means' to protect oil tankers, effectively upgrading the current regional apocalypse to a legally sanctioned maritime corridor.

Upper-Caste Book Club Confident 4th Annual Reading of 'Annihilation of Caste' Will Fix Everything by May

Local neighborhood association members confirm that once they finish the 2025 Dalit History Month reading list, the 2,000-year-old social hierarchy will likely dissolve in time for the summer monsoon.